Fitting it All in - Finding a System that Works

Given that I'm pretty insanely busy this week, I thought a post about prioritizing would be appropriate. I was pretty much feeling like a failure last night because I didn't get everything crossed off of my to-do list and I'm chronically behind with work and cleaning.

So I looked at my planner this morning - REALLY looked at it and I realized something: there's no way a single person can get all of this done. I actually would need 3 people to do everything on my list, so leaving 3 or 4 items undone at the end of the day isn't that bad.

Instead of focusing on getting it all done, I need to prioritize so I get the bigger, more important things done and can feel accomplished. I'm not the best at scanning through a list and picking out what's important every time I glance at it. The list itself seems to fluster me because it's so long and there's so many things unchecked on it.

So, I bought a package of highlighters in 3 colors. Yellow for priority work assignments, blue for priority volunteer work and pink for priority personal/home/cleaning tasks (this is how I divide my planner - work, home and volunteer).

I'll highlight 1 item per day and as long as that 1 item is done, I'll call it a win. If I have 2 priority items in 1 category, I will have to choose which one is the most important.

I tried this tactic today and... failed miserably. I didn't do the "priority" task first like I'd been planning. Mostly because the priority task for work will take me about 8 hours and requires my son to be napping so I can focus on it.

So I'm curious - how do you stay focused? How do you keep everything on track? I tried the household binder and found it was too bulky to be useful. I'd love something that I can hang in the hallway or carry with me. A 5x7 planner is the perfect size for portability, but doesn't have enough room each day for everything that needs to get done. I also hate having multiple lists... paper clutter irritates me. I have tried various planner apps (free ones, of course) and found them all lacking.

I'm open to anything - so let me know what works for you!

Sister-In-Law Update

I scanned my blog to see what I have written about in the past and I noticed a definite trend - my sister-in-law provides quite a bit of fodder. So, I thought it would be high time to offer an update on how the little tramp dear is impacting the family dynamics.

She's still nuts.

That about sums things up... I mean, I haven't talked to her in nearly a year. In January she blocked my phone, Facebook and anything else she could think of. I sent around a family newsletter and had no way of contacting her, so their family didn't get it. Her husband was ticked and I explained that I couldn't contact his wife and that I was sending it to the women.

Radio silence.

My mother-in-law jumped in at that point - baby boy can't get his feelings hurt after all. Bow down to his wife and kiss her ass like everyone else has for the past 7 years she said. No... no, that doesn't seem like fun at all. I've done that and it doesn't really help - it takes effort and quite frankly, she's not worth it. She has treated the whole family like shit (or at least those of us that don't have anything to give her, like land or money or whatever) and I've had enough of it.

So my husband and I finally decided we were done dealing with her. Done dealing with everyone that's enabling her. Just done in general. We opted out of birthdays, graduation parties and anything else she would be at. There's no point in going since we didn't want to watch the sickening display of everyone acting like she's a fucking saint while she's ignoring us for absolutely no reason.

I literally mean that. You can speak to this woman and she will turn her head the other way as if you simply aren't there. People witness this and continue to talk to her like she has done absolutely nothing out of the ordinary, because for her, that's not unordinary. If they address her behavior, she turns the crazy on them. Her degree of crazy can vary... she once slashed my mother-in-law's tires, but we're supposed to act like that never happened because she gave birth to someone's children and said they were my brother-in-law's.

Now, nobody gave a rats ass that this was going on until recently. My mother-in-law said it was between them and us and she was staying out of it. She had 900 reasons why she couldn't ask what their problem was. My husband tried reaching out to his brother early on and got nothing but silence. It was not in her best interest to ask, so she didn't.

Now it's the holidays and my mother-in-law wants to have a big happy family around her dining room table (which is like a 4-person table, but I digress) and she is suddenly upset that we aren't going to her events. She knew this is what was going to happen. She knew we couldn't get in touch with them and she refused to say anything to them. Like always, she refuses to address the behavior if it's them because (and this was her reasoning, not mine) if she says anything to them about the way they act, they keep her from seeing the grandkids.

It's disgusting. The way they act and the way she enables them. I am ashamed to be related to these people through marriage. It's really pushing me to find a way to move my family away from this jolly band of assholes. We don't go to events now and I figure 1,000 miles between us will at least keep the invitations from being issued so I don't have to decline and then listen to my mother-in-law rant and rave.

Shocked to See Visitors!

I posted a blog for the first time in a while on my other site - Mommas Madness - and randomly thought I'd log into Blogger to see if my blog here was still alive.

I was SHOCKED to see 18 page views today! SHOCKED!

So it got me thinking - which site has more visibility? I have more followers on Wordpress (because I have none on Blogger), so which site should I focus on? I don't have the time to create 2 separate blog posts a day. Does anyone maintain 2 blogs and post the same spiel to both? I thought about doing that to maximize exposure. :-)

Thoughts? Hope? Love for my blog? Leave a comment if you read this - I could use some encouragement!

Neighbor From Hell: Year 3

Well, we had about a year off from the drama with the jack-ass next door. Today, he called in a team of landscapers with little bobcats to come tear out MORE of our trees and knock down our deer fence.

Mother. Fucker.

So now I'm torn between calling the cops, knowing they've done nothing in the past about the situation, and calling the landscaping company to demand they replace the fence, or be taken to court.

I'm so mad right now, I want to seriously go paint pictures of giant dicks on the side of MY fence facing his house.

Has anyone been in this situation? What do you do when the neighbor continuously (and randomly) removes your fence from your own property because he thinks it's his or too close to his or just because he feels like being a dick? Like I said before - we've called the cops in the past and they said it was a civil matter and they couldn't help. The last thing I knew, STEALING and VANDALIZING were things cops could deal with. Guess I'm wrong??

Homesteading 101: Adding to Our Flock

It has been a busy couple of weeks around here. The weather finally warmed up, so we've been spending more time outside, working on the garden and putting up a deer fence around the back. We're hoping the deer fence keeps the deer out and the chickens in. Ideally, that would all result in fewer ticks too.

Besides chores, chores and more chores, we have also taken the time to add to the flock. Starting out, we had a 2 buff orpingtons (1 is a roo), 2 barred rocks and an Easter egger. We hatched out a buff/EE baby, using an egg from a hen that had died. Here's the baby today:

HE is a crazy looking chicken. Yes, you read that right - little lucky is a boy. Another rooster. Fortunately, we got lucky some lady friends the day after he was born. We got a Wellsummer and 2 Easter Eggers. We got one dark and one light EE. You can see the tail of the light one in the picture above. The dark Easter Egger is starting to look like a boy. We're really striking out with that.

We went the retail route, and in MA you have to buy 6 chicks. The store let us put off buying the other 3 until a different breed came in. When they got more chicks, we went back to get the other 3 that we had to buy. We got 2 buttercups and 1 Blue Andalusian. (1 buttercup and 1 Blue Andalusian shown above)

The Blue Andalusian has never really wanted to be a part of the flock. The little loner pretty much hangs out on her own while the buttercups go off and play with the bigger hens.

Shortly after that, my husband started saying he really wanted a red chicken. I found a post on Craigslist from a lady selling 5-week old chicks. We picked up a NH Red, a Delaware and a brown leghorn. The Delaware was my pick and the other 2 were my husbands. Apparently the brown leghorn will be an egg laying machine, so that's looking good for my little egg business that I have going on the side.

So that brings us up to 15 chickens, 3 of which may be males. Well, 1 is definitely a male, but the other 2 are only potentials. It's fun to watch the chickens peck around the yard and interact with one another. Their personalities are really starting to come out. I'll post an update with pictures when the babies are old enough to do something other than huddle in the corner.

Originally posted at: mommasmadness.wordpress.com

Why You Should Be Thankful For Your Sister-In-Law

A new year, a new post about my sister-in-law.

Honestly, I don't know what her problem is. Years ago she explained that her ongoing animosity was because I had gotten pregnant at the same time as her and she felt that I "stole her thunder" since everyone was happy for me and saddened for her.

Granted, I was 24, a college graduate, employed, married and a home owner. My husband was employed too and he was happy about the pregnancy.

She was 18, a high school graduate, unemployed, unmarried and living with her boyfriend's parents (my in-laws). Her boyfriend was also unemployed and wanted her to get an abortion.

So as you can see, the circumstances were really different. I tried explaining that to her when she accused me of basically ruining her life way back when. She honestly doesn't see why the reactions were completely different. That's a different story though.

Back to today - for the last couple of years, she and I have had pretty much no contact. We see each other a handful of times each year at family gatherings at my mother-in-law's house. While there, we don't talk to one another, we don't look at one another and if I walk into the same room as her, she immediately either turns her back or gets up and leaves. She will sit at the opposite end of the table as me if we are celebrating a birthday at a restaurant and she does not acknowledge my children.

Speaking of family gatherings, the end of last year was crazy. My MIL had something planned literally every 2 weeks for the last 3 months of the year. Besides that being over kill, she lives 1.5 hours away. So, in an effort to subtly start changing things, I put together a family newsletter. The newsletter outlines the holidays and what our plans are. I circulated it to the family via email. I texted everyone asking for email addresses if I didn't already have one. That included my SIL and BIL.

Surprise, surprise, they never got back to me. In fact, the text message never showed as being "read" either. A minimal amount of detective work later, and I figured out that they had blocked my phone number. So, I never sent them the newsletter.

Of course, they heard about the newsletter from other people in the family. My BIL actually had the balls to whine to my MIL about how they never got the newsletter. Awesome. So, my MIL texted me and wanted me to send it to him - she supplied the email address.

I said no! They blocked my phone number, so clearly they don't want anything to do with me and by extension, my family. They had the option of unblocking me, talking to me like a human and requesting a copy of the newsletter, but they declined. My MIL was also under the impression that I'd be sending them mean emails (which has never happened, by the way), so we suggested they set up an alternate email address. That too was unacceptable. So, I declined to send them the newsletter.

Ironic isn't it that they can exclude me and think nothing of it, but the minute I exclude them they get all butt-hurt and call my MIL.

So at the risk of ending this suddenly, I just want to say that no matter who your sister-in-law is, just be glad you didn't get saddled with mine. The woman is nuts and cannot function in normal society.

Where Did I Go?

If there are any loyal readers out there, you may be wondering where I went.


I'm working on transitioning over to Wordpress. You can find my new site - Mommas Madness - right here:  https://mommasmadness.wordpress.com/

You'll notice the new site has a focus on cleaning, cooking and basically all things homemaking-related. I hope you'll follow me over and join me at the new site!

XOXO

Handling the Holidays

If you've been following my blog, you already know just how much I hate December. It's not the holidays that bother me per say, but rather the obligatory travel, family gatherings and gift-giving to everyone under the sun. It takes the fun out of Christmas and is robbing my kids of the types of memories I had growing up.

No more!

For 2015, I'm changing things up. I've created a "family newlsetter" which is basically a nice way to say f-you to my inlaws and their overbearing ways. I'm giving everyone a quick year-in-review so they feel warm and tingly, then laying down the law.

In my newsletter I'm laying out all of the holidays for the next 6 months and what our plans are. I'm picking weekends for birthday parties and gathering email addresses for evites. No more paper invitations. No more "I didn't know" or "we didn't get ours". Bull! Also out is the tradition of attending 3 Christmas parties every year. I'll throw one and we'll celebrate with whoever comes, otherwise, see you in 2016! If people don't want come up here, that's fine, but I'm sick of going everywhere else for every holiday.

Have you ever put your foot down and told your mother-in-law it's time to pass on the party reins? I'm nervous about how she'll react, but at the same time, I feel FREE from all of the crazy obligations we've been dealing with and it's great. Every year new parties were added to our queue until this year, it just got to be too much. No more!

Wish me luck - I'm emailing out my not-so-subtle family newsletter tomorrow. :-)