School Fundraisers

Every fall I'm barraged by friends and family requesting me to purchase some expensive piece of crap that I don't need in the name of a fundraiser. 10 percent goes to little Johnny's school! You have to buy something to support the kids!

Most of the time, I grudgingly hunt out the cheapest thing in the catalog, order it, and be on my way.

Then my daughter started school. School that I pay for. Every. Single. Month. We were about a month into the school year when her teacher sent home a fundraiser.

Are you fricken kidding me?!

What is my tuition going towards? I have a really hard time doing a fundraiser and bumming money off friends and family to pay for "extra supplies" when I pay tuition, provide a snack and drink for the entire class once a month and have the pleasure of viewing the teacher's classroom wish list every time I drop off and pick up my child (there's no bus either).





We don't send her to an elite preschool or anything like that. She goes to the town's preschool, which is attached to the elementary school. I feel like between the wish list, the tuition money and the mandatory snack-sharing, it should be more than enough. She's only in school 2 days a week for 2.5 hours a day! Each month she gets at least 1 day off for a holiday, a professional development day or something like that. I just don't get it.

I realize that little kids use a lot of "art supplies", but I would think that would be taken into account with the tuition. Surely, they don't just use it to pay the teachers. They don't have building expenses since they operate out of the back of the elementary school, which is funded with tax money. It's really just teacher salaries and classroom supplies. I'm at a complete loss.

Final MiLend Review

This will be my FINAL MiLend Review because after a long, 3 month process, we have FINALLY closed and the house is refinanced. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I promise to keep this short and sweet. I won't go into all the different things that held us up, and instead I'll just highlight the important things that potential borrowers may want to think about.

Pros:

• They did finally close the deal.
• Their rates were better than other companies, which is why we went there in the first place.

Cons:

• Very poor communication. Emails would go unanswered, calls would go unreturned. You really have to be willing to hunt them down like a blood hound if you want to do business with them. It's not just the agent we were going through either - the 4 or 5 people on our team were all pretty much unreachable.
• It takes FOREVER because nobody there has any initiative to get things done on time and then certain aspects of the process have to be re-started the following month.
• They do like 3 or 4 employment verifications (because it takes so long), so then your job thinks you're some kind of bum or something getting a desperate last-minute loan.
• They have some pretty shady practices. Our guy encouraged us to not pay our mortgage (so it would be late) to avoid needing a new payoff request. He assured us they don't report the late payment for 30 days or so, but it was still worrisome. Had we closed on time, the first time, it wouldn't have ever been an issue.
• They expect you to return 50-page documents within an hour or 2, and blame delays in closing on your lack of responsiveness, but they don't follow up on payoff requests from your previous lender for more than a week.
• They advocate bad loans. Our guy wanted us to originally do a floating rate, which I was adamantly against. Didn't that cause the housing bubble? Yeah, no thanks.

There's many many other bad points. If you're willing to jump through hoops, wait 3 months and be incredibly frustrated along the way just to get the lowest rate possible, by all means, choose MiLend. If you value your sanity more than a few dollars each month, do yourself a favor and go with a more reliable company at a higher rate.

MiLend Update

I'm frustrated beyond all belief.

Our closing date was supposed to be 2 days ago, but the fabulous folks at MiLend have apparently dropped off the face of the planet. Emails go unanswered and promises to get in touch ASAP are broken left and right.

I'm not sure what to think.

If you're in the market to refinance, please do yourself a favor and avoid MiLend. If we hadn't already invested so much time into this, I'd be running as fast as possible at this point. Unprofessional doesn't even begin to describe it. It literally takes 2 seconds to click "reply" to an email and type: Hi, I've received your email, but don't have anything new to report at this time. I'll be in touch when I know more."

Or... "Hi, I said I'd get back to you today with more information, but I haven't heard anything from underwriting. I'll check back in with you tomorrow if I don't hear from them by 4pm."

Or even... "Hi, I'm not dead and I'm still employed at MiLend, but I don't have any news for you."

If both hands were broken or burned in a serious accident, he could even just hold a pen in his mouth and type out, "got it" then hit send so I know he's at least receiving the damn emails or checking his voicemails.

So. Unbelievably. Frustrated.

My Husband Is Useless Part III

**Disclaimer** No comments about how I should leave my husband. He frustrates me sometimes and I blog about it. There are good times and bad times, just like with anyone else's relationship. I've got 3 kids with the guy under the age of 5, so you know there have been at least 3 moments in the last 5 years that he hasn't ticked me off badly enough to blog about it.

It's just after midnight and I'm looking at the glow of my computer screen. I'm sitting in the living room with my feet propped up while my 6 month old baby goes to town in the exersaucer a few feet in front of me. I'm not wowed by his cuteness or overcome with love right at the moment - no, I'm a seething bag of angry, overworked, underslept mama who's contemplating ways to castrate my usless husband in his sleep.

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. This happens to me from time to time, usually when I'm stressed or sick. Sometimes I'll go for a week sleeping just a few hours a night. It sucks, but I've got to say it's even worse this time because of my husband.

I finally finally finally got my brain to shut off last night/tonight by laying in bed, nursing my baby. (I say last night because lets face it - I'm not going back to sleep. You people that have ever had insomnia know what I'm talking about.) About 2 hours later the baby started fussing. Not crying for food, but fussing. He was awake. He does this sometimes because he's 6 months old and in his world, waking up in the middle of the night is a-ok. My husband at the time was sitting in bed next to me (I was sleeping) watching a TED talk on his phone.

He kept watching, completely ignoring the writhing, squirming, borderline-crying baby between us.

Trying to not wake all the way up, I tried to just nurse him back to sleep. No dice. I kept my eyes closed and told my husband to get him a pacifier. The following conversation ensued:

Him: "I don't know where there is one."

Are you kidding me?

Me: "Find one."

Him: "I don't know where you keep them."

Me: "They're everywhere, get up and look."

Him: "Do you really think that's what he wants?"

Me: "I don't know. Put a damn pacifier in his face and see if that's what he wants."

Him: "What else could it be?"

Me: "Damn it, get up and get a pacifier."

::Baby cries:: He resumes watching his show.

Yep, at this point I'm about to go ape-shit crazy. I'm fully awake now and I know there's NO WAY I'm going back to sleep. I get up, turn on the light and grab the pacifier that is literally on the damn dresser. Like right there. Like if I were awake and sitting where he was, I would have seen it.






I grabbed the pacifier and in the attempt, knocked the diaper bag, containing my wallet, down. I should note that my diaper bag was leaning precariously because my husband thought to pile a bunch of crap on top of it, making my midnight adventures all the more fun. Also, note that he feels the need to put children's shoes on top of my dresser, which drives me absolutely insane. Also note that he should have seen the pacifier while stacking shit on top of my dresser. My wallet fell out and landed smack in the bowl of water in the cats food dish on the floor. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I hand the pacifier to him and attempt to lay back down.

The baby continues to cry. I open my eyes to see him holding it half-assed against the baby's cheek. The baby is now mad at him, I'm mad at him, and he's just totally oblivious, watching his Ted talk.

Me: Clearly that's not working.

Him: Oh. Well here. I don't know what he wants.

Me: Maybe he just wants you to not put the pacifier in his ear?

Him: I don't know how to do this. You're better at this than me.

Note to husband: half-assed attempts at flattery do not work on sleep-deprived wives who have been woken up to care for the baby when YOU ARE ALREADY FUCKING AWAKE.

At that point, I grabbed the baby so my hands would be occupied and I wouldn't be able to throw anything at my husband's face. My husband thought that was his cue to put away his phone and snuggle down into the bed to go to sleep! Really?! You let the baby wake me up knowing full well that I'm running on a cumulative 8 hours of sleep FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK and then have the balls to get all comfy and lay down to go to sleep now that you know I'm taking him with me?

So that's why I'm in the living room, just after midnight. I fully plan to go wake that son of a bitch up in about an hour and continue the process every single hour for the rest of the night.

Karma. It'll get ya!

MiLend Review

A couple of years ago, we did an addition on our home to accommodate our growing family. Since the market wasn't great, getting a home equity loan to cover it wasn't possible and selling wasn't an option either. We relied on credit to get the addition done and planned to refinance to pay the debt off from adding onto the house.

Fast forward 2 years. We're attempting to refinance with a company called MiLend. While the refinance isn't finished yet, I'd like to just let everyone know how the experience has been so far.

Horrible.

First, our agent tried to rope us into a HELOC with a floating rate that would adjust monthly. That sounded horrible to me, but it was presented as our best and only option. We gathered paperwork and went through the motions. On the closing day, we got a message from the broker - the deal wouldn't go through.

On the other hand, he could offer us a refinance for a little less money, but it would have a locked rate and a lot of PMI. I liked that plan better, just because it didn't have a floating rate. Onward we forged... we were assured that we would close the following month. We did everything requested of us very quickly, faxing documents back and forth, calling creditors and more.

The day before our expected closing, they couldn't give us an exact time or even an exact date that we would be done. That afternoon, I got word that we were waiting on a payoff quote from our old lender. They had reached out a week before, but hadn't received it yet. Perhaps the brokers assistant would follow-up. I took the initiative to call myself and follow up. The lender had not received a payoff request. I had them fax one over immediately.

After that, I did not hear anything. I reached out on the day we planned to close to see what the expected closing date would be and I have been ignored. I am not a happy camper at this point.

I'm a little worried that their customer service is somewhat lacking and having a mortgage through them will be nothing short of a nightmare. I'm hesitant to go through another company since we've done so much work in getting this deal done and we really needed it refinanced last month. Starting over would mean at least another month of waiting.

So, if you're planning to refinance your home and you see MiLend come up as an option on your radar, go ahead and write it off. They are nothing short of a hot mess over there and it's not worth the aggravation you'll surely experience.

Chicken Update

For all of you aspiring backyard chicken farmers that read this, I thought I'd post a quick update about my girls. My hens are now 23 (almost 24) weeks old. There are currently 2 birds laying, and I'm really hoping that at least my buff orpington starts before winter. I've been told that if they don't start to lay before the winter, they won't start until the following spring. They'd be nearly a year old at that point, and I'd love to get some eggs from them before then!

Both of the barred rocks are laying now and I've avoided buying eggs for the past 2 weeks, which is awesome. 2 hens give us 10-11 eggs per week, which is enough for light egg use during the week and a big breakfast on both weekend days. I'd like to get more hens laying because we also like boiled eggs and occasionally I like to do a tray of deviled eggs for parties. With the holidays coming up, eggs will be in high demand around here for cookies, egg trays and pies.

Fingers crossed the other birds get the memo soon!!

Unrealistic Expectations

I'm taking my 5-minute break today to write a quick blurb about unrealistic expectations - specifically, the ones we place on ourselves.

For me, I accepted an assignment that is going to cost me the weekend. The weekend is the only time my husband is home and it's the only time we can really spend together as a family. I value the weekends, but for some reason I gave this one up without a second thought.

So now I'm facing the prospect of hours upon hours of work to do this weekend when I should be spending time with my family. For what? A few hundred dollars. The chance to say that I'm a work-at-home mom with 3 young kids? Why do I put the pressure on myself to raise 3 children, keep the house clean, feed everyone healthy food and work non-stop from home? It seems crazy, but I do it because that's what my husband expects. He can't float all the bills by himself. We were fine before I stayed home, and even though that was very much a mutual decision, I feel the need to still contribute financially - mostly because I know he thinks I should.

After all, I'm a stay-at-home mom, so that means I must just sit around eating bon-bons all day, right? What are bon-bons anyway?

I sure hope that when the kids are older I won't regret spending all day working and cleaning instead of making messy art and playing outside. I hope the kids don't feel slighted. I hope my husband finally sees and understands what I'm doing and most of all, I hope the guilt goes away. Darned if you do, darned if you don't.