The Silent Treatment: What They are Really Saying

I thought I'd do a post on the silent treatment to mark the 7 month mark of the day my sister-in-law decided to stop talking to me (again).

You didn't read that wrong - it's really been 7 months. That includes a handful of holidays, birthdays, etc. It's not the first time this has happened. In fact, at this point I'm pretty sure she's spent more time in the last 5 years NOT talking to me than she has spent being friendly towards me. It's bizarre really.

Given that I've been on the receiving end of the silent treatment for so long, I thought I'd share what I think my sister-in-law and anyone else who is stuck at 5 is really saying by not saying anything at all.

1.) I'm too mentally incompetent to generate a coherent argument as to why your actions/words were wrong, so I'm going to be silent and let you draw your own conclusions. Your assumptions are bound to be better than anything I could have come up with myself.
2.) I have the mental capabilities of a 5 year old. I'm completely inept at self-expression and resort to the silent treatment as a sort of punishment. I believe that I am so interesting and important that not talking to you will somehow adversely affect your quality of life.
3.) I foolishly believe that if I don't say anything at all to you, you will magically see things my way and come around, because that has worked so well in the past.
4.) I am intimidated by other women and can't function in a society where my boobs do not earn me a free-pass to be as rude and destructive as I wish.
5.) I am a horrible mother and wish to teach my children bad behaviors through my example. Up next is playing with fire and having unprotected sex with strangers.
6.) I'm just a straight-up bitch and should probably be on some sort of medication for that.

For anyone currently engaging in the silent treatment, please reference the above list and see just how foolish you look. You aren't going to win approval or make people see things your way by giving them the silent treatment. All you will do is affirm that you are an unreasonable idiot with the IQ of a potato skin. It will not win you points. It will not make you suddenly right. All it will do is make people that think little of you to begin with feel even less positively towards you. The best thing you can hope for is that they start treating you with kid gloves so your inner 5 year old doesn't escape again.

Not really what you were going for, was it?

Oh, and if you are related in any way, shape or form to the person you are giving the silent treatment to and you are an adult, I hope a bus hits you. That would make family holidays much easier for everyone else.