I think this is becoming a theme... maybe one day they'll make a TV series based off of this concept. Judging by the number of hits my other useless husband posts get, it's a pretty universal feeling for women to be baffled and annoyed by their husbands' lack of man-knowledge. If a woman can't cook or clean or take care of children with one hand tied behind their back and a blindfold on they are somehow less female, but if a man is inept at home repairs or car repairs, it's totally fine. Men don't have to have all the answers - women do. Not a double standard or anything.
Just for the record, I'm not being unfair - my husband can't cook and he needs more direction than a 4-year old to clean the bathroom. He expected me to come into the marriage knowing how to do these things and if I don't know something, I'm supposed to get immediate instruction and ace it after the first try. Likewise, I expected him to come into the marriage with some type of expertise other than playing the Legend of Zelda and surfing the internet for political news, despite the fact that he has no political ambitions and honestly just doesn't understand why the world isn't "fair".
But, I digress... the point of this post was to highlight his latest shortcomings... namely, his car.
You see, for the last 2 weeks his car has been sitting in the driveway, broken. He has devoted half a Sunday each weekend to fixing it and all he has succeeded in doing is breaking it even worse.
The first weekend, he had his mom's boyfriend down to help. My husband neglected to read the code on the check engine light before the car died, so he had ZERO to go on. They were basically grasping at straws. They replaced a part ($30) and then scratched their butt while listening to the engine sputter and die. There was man-talk about possible things that are wrong, but I can throw out things like "oh, maybe the throttle needs to be cleaned", or "oh, put some of that valve cleaner from Walmart in it". First of all - they're both dumbasses. Additives are for maintenance, not repairs. Second of all - they blew the entire day to put in an ignition coil? AN IGNITION COIL?? Are you fricken kidding me??
So no surprise when that didn't work. Then this weekend rolls around and again, he booked Saturday solid to leave only Sunday to work on his car. He was able to get a code - a problem with the fuel rail pressure sensor. So naturally he replaced an air sensor... makes sense, right? No. That didn't work, so then he was attempting to replace the fuel regulator. Again, no dice, but this time it was because he couldn't get the part off. Finally, he spent 3 or so hours on Google finding where the fuel pressure sensor was located to change that out. He knew that was what was throwing the code for like 4 days, but he decided to wait until the day he was fixing the car an hour before the parts place closed to see what and where it was and he wasted the rest of the time replacing random parts that had nothing to do with the code. Genius.
By a stroke of luck he got the part replaced and the car sounded better. It ran, no codes and he really thought it was fixed. Then his idiot complex kicked back on and he was like oh hey, great idea, I'll let the car idle in the driveway for an hour and 20 minutes, unsupervised. He was SHOCKED when he went out to discover the car smoking and the heat needle all the way up. SHOCKED I tell you.
Besides being a smoking hot mess, there was a good puddle of something under the car. He felt the need to stick his dirty fingers in it before coming into the house and shoving said nasty fingers under my nose while I was on the phone with my mom, demanding to know what it smelled like. My answer was dirty fingers. Not the appropriate time to ask me AND how the heck should I know what the liquid on engine grease smelled like? Look where it's dripping from, Einstein.
So now, his car is dead in the driveway except it's deader than dead this time. It won't even start. We're looking at him having my car ALL next week AGAIN - putting 100 miles a day on it and doubling the gas bill then working on it for 1/2 of one day during the weekend (begrudgingly, mind you because he's a whiny little bitch who thinks car repair is somehow below him. Why can't he have a nice car with payments? Um... 100 miles a day, that's why.). Option number 2 is bringing it to the mechanic and getting a bill for whatever he broke by letting it idle for an hour and 20 minutes, unsupervised. Did I mention it was left UNSUPERVISED? If you have a car that dies after running for 20 minutes, why would you leave it idling in the driveway while you go on the internet? Because you're lazy or just plain stupid? Which do you think it is?
In anticipation of a huge repair bill and/or him working on it next weekend, I cancelled my weekend plans. I was supposed to attend a Mary Kay party, but that's clearly not happening. Besides having no money because he's buying parts and possibly paying a mechanic, I'll have to watch the kids on the weekend while he screws around with his car. The friend's house is about 40 minutes away too and we need to actively try to drive less because of all the miles he's putting on it taking it to work. Our "good car" has over 100K miles on it and is running rough since he has taken it for the past week and a half to work. I tell you, he drives everything he touches into the ground. He has zero patience for traffic and drives like an ass, then blames his tickets on the police and his car troubles on being unlucky. No, it's all within his control - drive a little nicer and maybe you won't have as many problems. The car won't break because you won't push it and you won't get tickets for driving like a d-bag. Amazing idea, right?
Ugh, so frustrating.
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