In-Laws are a Strange Breed

Does everyone feel like their in-laws are a little off? Don't get me wrong, my in-laws aren't horrible people or anything like that, but they are just a little... off. Quirky...

In particular, I'm talking about my father-in-law. The man has this special talent where he can make anyone feel uncomfortable. I mean that, he really can. His specialty is taking something you said years ago, twisting it a bit and then using it to make someone uncomfortable.

Not only does he make people uncomfortable, he knows he's doing it and he hounds them over and over until you want to crawl into a hole because you feel so bad for them. His favorite target is my mother. Then my mother literally walks away from him and he FOLLOWS her or waits for her to come back into the room to take back up his uncomfortable conversation.

Well, in anticipation of another family gathering, I decided to bite the bullet and speak with his "better" half... though I feel that causing strife is one of her specialties, so I'm not sure how wise that was. However, my husband won't talk to his dad, so what was I to do? Anyway, I told her that his behavior at the last party had people feeling very uncomfortable, particularly my mother. I then told her to remind him to stick to neutral conversation topics in mixed company and all would be good. She started typing... she stopped.... she started.... she stopped. Yes, I did this over an IM because I'm a coward like that and didn't want to have to say it -- these are the types of things that should go without say and having to actually SAY something was outside of my comfort zone. I grew up in a different type of family where if people seem to get uncomfortable at your line of conversation, you stop and change directions. Go figure. Not everyone was raised that way I guess.

Anyway, I have a feeling my FIL and his girlfriend are now going to be mad at me. I didn't know what else to do though, and with the party just a week away, it was better than saying nothing. Part of me hopes they don't come now... it sounds horrible, but everyone else would have a much better time if they stayed home. They have managed to make everyone uncomfortable at the last party and they really seem to have no idea. I just want everyone to have a nice time, and if they opted not to come it would be less stress for me (waiting for him to say something out of line) and probably less stress for everyone else too.

How do you handle relatives with verbal diarrhea?