Pregnancy Update: 33 Weeks

I'm 33 weeks now... hard to believe how fast this pregnancy has gone. I've made it through with just 1 photo of the bump, and I'm starting to feel like I should probably get at least one more in just in case baby boy decides he wants to see it in the future. It's unlikely, but I'd rather have it and have him never ask for it than not have any photos and make him think he was unwanted. Unplanned, yes, unwanted, no.

I had a Dr appointment at the end of last week and because of pressure, braxton hicks and a little bit of leakage, we did an ultrasound. Everything looks good, baby has plenty of fluid and he's measuring about 5 pounds right now.

It was also the first time the hubby got to see the baby as he was home "sick". The tech was nice and took some time to show him the baby along with the proof that he's definitely a boy.

So, going by his size alone, I'm giving myself 4-5 weeks until he comes because I've been told by 2 doctors now that I can't handle much more than a 7 pound baby and supposedly they gain 1/2 a pound a week. We'll see how it goes!

Ice Dam Tip for Homeowners

Attention all homeowners! If you have ice dams and your roof is less than 5 years old, it turns out that you may have coverage! The manufacturers of many ice and water barriers (a requirement for those living in cold climates north of the Mason Dixon line), offer a warranty on their product. I'll admit that I never thought of this, but when I contacted my FIL yesterday (he's a contractor) that was his suggestion. It seemed so obvious in hind sight, but when you're frantically mopping water and changing buckets as water pours in through your roof, it's an easy thing to miss.

So what does that mean for you? If you used their ice and water barrier, but are still experiencing interior leaks due to ice dams, faulty manufacturing of the barrier may be the reason. Find out the brand of the ice and water barrier you used and then contact the company right away to inquire about a warranty.

We purchased our barrier at Home Depot. It's WeatherWatch and it's made by GAF. The company boasts their warranty on their website and has a special number for warranty claims. It's good to note that they also sell most of the shingles at Home Depot, so if you or your contractor likes to shop there, it's a good possibility that you bought everything from the same company without knowing it.


I contacted GAF yesterday and I'm waiting for them to send some paperwork in the mail to get started on the process of determining if it's a manufacturing defect or not. I'll keep you all updated on how it goes and hopefully another homeowner can benefit from this experience.

Lowes Carpet

I just had new carpet installed in the baby's room from Lowes and I thought I'd give everyone a little review of how the whole process went.

Picking out carpet didn't take long. We didn't have a lot of choices because we were in a time crunch, so we pretty much picked something in-stock.

Next, we had to have an estimate. I have a square room and it's not very big. Measuring was not a challenge whatsoever, but they insist on having their guy come out to measure just to make sure you can accurately read a tape measure or something. Ok. Fair enough, I know there are actually people in the world that can't use a tape measure. You pay $35 for the estimate and that money comes off the cost of the job if you order. Fair enough - they give you a price based off of your measurements too so it's not really a surprise when you order.

After the guy comes out to measure (who FYI works for himself, not Lowes) it takes him a few days to return the measurement to Lowes. We bought the estimate on a Saturday, got the call from the guy on Monday to come measure the same-day. He returned the measurements a few days later and I got the call from Lowes on Thursday.

Next, you have to go back into the store to sign more papers than you would need to take out a mortgage. No really, it's ridiculous. You fill out the contract and then pay for the carpet.

After that you wait again. We bought the carpet on Saturday because of snow and then got a call from the installer on Monday night. The soonest opening was Friday. I repeatedly asked if it would be the same guy installing the carpet that did the measurement. Yes, I was assured it would be. However, I opened the door Friday to find 2 random men I didn't recognize wearing Lowes gear. Awesome - great start to the day. I'm a heavily pregnant stay-at-home mom with 2 little girls and one on the way, so having strange men into my home with no warning is kind of irritating. I mentally go over where all the sharp objects are in the house and gauge the size of the men to determine how to best reach the main arteries should they turn out to be psychopaths.

Still, I have them inside and they go ahead with the installation. It took about 30 minutes total and they vacuum when they're done. The cheap in-stock 99 cent stuff isn't as bad as we imagined, in fact it's pretty close to what was down originally. We went with the cheaper pad too and it is completely fine. I don't recommend spending more in a bedroom than you absolutely need to since the in-stock options were just fine.

So that's about it - if you order carpet from Lowes, their in-stock stuff is surprisingly good quality (especially compared to Home Depot) and it will take about 2 weeks start to finish. The worst part is dealing with 3rd party installers and all of the inconsistencies that come with that.

So, the whole process took

Getting Ready for Baby on the Cheap

As anyone that's read my blog recently knows, I'm expecting baby #3 to arrive in April. My first two children are girls and this baby is a boy. While we have most of the "gear" in place for his arrival, our house is a little bigger now than it was when the girls arrived and all of the clothes, covers, etc. are girly. Since this is my last baby (hopefully) and we won't be doing anything major like a home addition at the time of his birth, I really want to get some blue in the room and actually get a chance to enjoy this child as an infant.

Since this is my 3rd trip to the rodeo, I know that baby stuff is horribly expensive. Fortunately, I've got access to a little thing called the Facebook Yard Sale sites that are helping me stock the nursery for less. Because I'm getting ready for baby on the cheap, I can justify getting the odd things that I have always wanted because they are such great deals and this is my last baby. Here's some of the deals I've found recently:

1.) Baby K'tan Carrier - Paid $25. The lady used it only a few times and it's in excellent condition. Retail price: $50; Savings: $25

2.) Cloth Diaper Stash - Paid $50 for 26 BumGenius diapers. Sure, they're well used, but they are in good condition and will definitely work for another child. She included extra inserts and the little liners for when you need to use diaper rash cream. They're pocket-diapers that will grow with the baby. We only plan on using them at home, but it should cut down on the amount of trash we produce while saving a nice bit of money. Cloth isn't what it used to be, so if you're turned off by the idea I urge you to look into it and see how far things have come. Retail price: $468 for diapers, excluding the extra inserts and liners; Savings: $418

3.) Bottle Warmers - Paid $5 for 1 with a cooler and 1 without. To be fair, the one with the cooler is missing the included ice-pack, so I'll have to get creative and make something with a baggie in the freezer I think. Not a huge deal. Retail: $35 for both; Savings: $30

4.) Bassinet Pad - New in plastic - Paid $5 and it's better than the one that came in the bassinet. Retail: $45; Savings: $40

5.) Diaper Champ - Paid FREE. I got this when I thought we'd be doing regular diapers all the time. Someone was giving it away for free, so why not, right? Retail: $30; Savings: $30

6.) Diaper Pail - Paid FREE. I got this after I decided we were doing cloth diapers. Again, someone was giving it away for free, so why not, right? Retail: $20; Savings $20

7.) 2 contractor bags of baby clothes spanning birth through 1 year - Paid FREE. This was probably my best deal as we went from having no baby clothes to having an abundance. I can't even say how much money this saved. At consignment prices, it's easily $300 worth of clothing if not more. Savings: $300+

8.) Crib Sheets - Paid $2 for 2. Retail price: $16; Savings: $14

9.) Swaddle Me wraps - Paid $5 for 2. Retail price: $17; Savings $12

My point is that as a 3rd time mother, I don't mind buying some things used for my baby. I'll still want to get new things too, like pacifiers, burp cloths (not sure why this is a thing for me, but it is) and a special blanket. I also really really want a new car seat, but I'm having a hard time talking the hubby into that one since the old one hasn't expired yet.

Still on my list is a snap 'n go stroller. I may be getting one for free from a friend, but if I buy one I can get it for about $20 through the yard sale site. The savings will be about $50 if I buy it. I'm also buying a rock 'n play from the site for $25 for a savings of $25 over the retail price.

By using the yard sale site, I'm going to get all of the baby things I need and want for less money than buying everything brand new. That's a good feeling, plus I'll finally get to justify all of the "extras" that I've wanted with the last 2 babies because of the money I'm saving on the necessities.

Ice Dams

This has been a cold and snowy winter in New England. As a result, our dreaded ice dam problem is back. We thought it had something to do with the shingles, lack of protection under said shingles and the lack of flashing behind the gutters at first. Now we know it's an ice dam.

What is an ice dam you ask?

Here's a little graphic from www.select-restoration.com to explain it:

Basically, an ice dam is caused when heat escapes through your attic or crawl space and melts the snow on your roof. The melted water then flows downward until it reaches an eave where the temperature is cooler because it's not being warmed by the heat escaping from your house. When liquid water meets a sub-freezing patch of roof, it re-freezes and creates a chunk of ice. As more water melts and flows down, it hits the ice which acts like a dam and holds the water in place like a tiny lake. The backed up water goes under your shingles (because they only work in 1 direction) and it travels into your house.

Once it's in your house, it can flow down a wall, travel along a roof beam or do any number of other exciting things. The end result is all the same - damage and leaks.

That's currently what we have going on. Our summer goal of getting more insulation into the attic was postponed by brutal temperatures, so we pushed it into the fall. My husband is a master procrastinator, so it was the late fall. The fall is a busy time for us - my mother-in-law compulsively has gatherings every other weekend that requires traveling to another state and we try to pack the kids up for a weekend at my parents' house at least once a month. Then there are birthday parties and everything else. The result is that for most fall months we simply don't have a weekend at home to take care of any kind of house-related chore. So, unless I get my husband in the dangerously hot attic during the summer, it's not getting done. He refuses to believe that our falls are so jam-packed that he won't have any time to do it then. He also underestimates the amount of time it takes, foolishly thinking he can get it all done in a single weekend. Ha! Considering he only stays up for about 2 hours before getting tired and coming down, it's going to take a lot more than 1 weekend to accomplish that job.

Anyway, enough excuses. The problem is apparently a lack of insulation so we need to get it fixed. I've also noticed that it happens right above a particular window in our kitchen that's massive and drafty, so I'm guessing the low-quality window has something to do with the heat escaping as well. On top of fixing the cause of the ice dams, we need to patch the ceiling and the wall above the window, then paint everything. That means the whole ceiling needs to be done as well as the walls because they were painted over 5 years ago and the ceiling is dingy now and the wall color can't be found. Good times. More work was created because my husband was lazy. That seems to be a theme... I should mention too that this house was HIS pick, not mine.

Tips for Making Money on Fiverr

If you're new to Fiverr, you may be wondering how to succeed. It seems like getting started is almost impossible, right? How do you get that first sale, how do you keep getting sales once the first one is over?

Here are some tips:

1.) Undervalue your work. Sure, it takes me a good hour to write a well-researched article for a niche website with a handful of keywords thrown in, but I do 2 of those babies for just $5 and after Fiverr gets their hands in the cookie jar, I only make $4 of the sale. In my "regular" job, I make 4 dollars for re-wording 100 words worth of text that's already on a website and inserting a few keywords. It takes maybe 5 minutes. See the difference? Fiverr doesn't pay well and I'm okay with that because it's not my main source of revenue and I set my own deadlines. Gigs that ask a reasonable price for what they're offering tend to sit and rot because there's so many of us that are willing to sell ourselves short to make extra money for the holidays, etc.

2.) If you're new, be speedy. People see that you have a 10 day time frame for completion and they still want it yesterday. That's human nature. The faster you can work, the more you'll make. Beware though, if offering your gig in a shorter time frame is an "extra", you might not want to deliver before that time frame is up regardless of whether or not you can just so that people don't start expecting the "extra" for free.

3.) Always respond quickly when someone asks a question. Fiverr will email you when someone orders a gig, sends you a message, etc. If it's a job you want, be quick to answer. Otherwise, let them sit for a while.

4.) Don't cancel gigs. For whatever stupid reason, Fiverr gives negative points to sellers that cancel gigs. There's no "accept job" button so sometimes you get a buyer that is a real pain in the butt that places an order for more than you are offering and then you're in the awkward situation of having to cancel. IF that's the case, try contacting the seller first to have them initiate a cancellation and then go through Fiverr to cancel the order (you need to really have a valid reason why here) before cancelling on your own. Either of those options won't damage your rating like a self-cancel will.

5.) If you can, add a video to your gig. It doesn't have to be long or horribly creative. People just like videos for some reason.

6.) Self-promote. If you buy a gig, make sure to mention that you have gigs available as well. Do you have a blog? Add a link. Friends? Let them know. Advertise on Facebook, online, wherever you can. Once you get picked up and your rating increases, you'll start seeing more sales and you'll need to do less advertising work.

Other than that, how you get more sales depends a lot on what you do. I'm a writer and short of giving my product away for free I can't really do much to entice people. Fortunately, I've been lucky and buyers have found me pretty easily, though I've been on Fiverr for a long time. Joining Fiverr is free, so if you've been on the fence for a while, why not sign up and see if you get any bites?

How to Get a FREE Double Electric Breast Pump

Lame. I completely forgot to update this with blog posts lately. I've been slammed at work and on Fiverr, so it's been tough to find time to think, let alone to update a blog. Excuses, excuses, yes, I know I'm horrible.

Anyway, I learned some very valuable information today for anyone who's currently pregnant or expecting a baby. Apparently most insurance companies started offering free double electric breast pumps to new moms or expectant moms because of some changes to the healthcare law made in 2012. They're not horrible pumps either - we're talking name brand items like Ameda, Madela and Hygeia.

Excited? I was too.

So, how do you qualify? Well, you'll have to call your insurance company to get the details, but it turns out that with mine all I have to do is get a Dr's prescription from my OB and then order it through a contracted Durable Medical Equipment provider. That's it. They even ship that bad boy right to your house, or if you live locally you can just pick one up. There are zero out of pocket costs, but you'll have to get the cheapest one they offer. You can upgrade to a deluxe package with bells, whistles and everything else by paying a little bit of money (for me, it was $55 to get the carrying bag and some random accessories. I don't pump on-the-go a lot, so no big deal.)

I went to the website of a Durable Medical Equipment company that I found and they are super easy to work with. There's a form you download and fill out with the Rx box built right in. Your doctor just fills it out with their information, then you send it in via mail or fax. They call you after they get the form and get authorization from your insurance company, then they help you pick out a pump and ship it to your house about a month before you're due. Your insurance is billed so there are no out-of-pocket expenses.

This is really great news to me because I had issues with my middle child. I had a clot that she couldn't get out and that my breast pump (a Playtex one) couldn't get out either. It led to mastitis that went undetected which later turned into an abscess which had to be surgically drained. It was the most painful experience ever and I have contemplated not breastfeeding this baby because of it. But, just in case I decide to go ahead and do it, I'll now have a high-quality pump that was not in my budget before ready to go to help me out. I've also heard lactation consultants after delivery and discharge from the hospital are covered in full now, so I'm sure I'll take advantage of that as well! If only my co-pay wasn't so high...

Fiverr

As some of you may or may not know, I do freelance writing and one of the places that I do this is on Fiverr. Because Fiverr offers a very low rate ($4 per "gig"), I don't put a whole lot of effort into it. I offer 2 400-word articles or 3 200-word articles at that price. It's more than I'd like to offer for $4 and it's less than I'd make anywhere else, but when I try to increase my prices by decreasing the article numbers, I don't get orders. So it is what it is. To make up for the price, I simply don't offer editing services or anything like that.

I also don't offer a Copyscape guarantee. Copyscape is a program that checks some text to make sure it's not plagiarized. While I don't copy content, I do research topics briefly to do my articles, so while the text is my own, the ideas often are not. The reason I don't offer a Copyscape guarantee anymore is because of a program called Grammerly. Grammerly offers a free plagiarism check, which is pretty much the bane of my existence as it is not actually finding plagiarism, but small phrases or commonly used words in the text that is similar to something located anywhere else on the internet. For example, if you use the name of a website or a phrase similar to a brand's slogan (even very generic ones) it will say it is copied material. Just yesterday, it flagged some work I did because of the phrase "car insurance scams". Very occasionally I will get an order from someone who feels the need to use this inferior service and they will complain that my work is unoriginal.

Then I start wanting to bang my head against the wall. Typically anyone who actually uses Grammarly and complains about it doesn't know how flipping sensitive it is. I literally spent 2 hours last night doing re-writes and maxing out the free checks on Grammarly and it still said it was copied. I had to start writing like a 3rd grader, omitting important things that make sentences whole before it would say it was original work. Fabulous.

At that point I was beyond irritated. I sent the buyer a fairly nasty note letting them know that Grammarly is a piece of crap and that I don't offer a guarantee on my work because people like him stumble across Grammarly and take it as the Gospel truth. I told him that if he wants me to finish his orders (3 or 4 in line, so a whopping $12 to $16 dollars), I could, but that I would not be doing any other rewrites for any other reason. If he wanted to find the mythical Fiverr writer that was willing to pander to the whims of Grammarly, that was fine by me too.

So now this morning I'm still pretty peeved because not only did this individual accuse me of copying content, but they also didn't waiver when I explained that Grammarly is a piece of shit. They just sort of reiterated that they wanted a re-write. That is prompting me to create a Doc that I can just send people when they stray to the dark side and consult Grammarly. I'm thinking I will require a screen shot of the "copied content" from a paid subscription site because it will show what it thinks is copied. I'll also specify that Grammarly is NOT an acceptable source and that any re-writes will be done at the discretion of the seller (aka me).

Honestly, I wonder if it's a game. Usually it's the people that order a handful of articles and then ask me to float them a freebie because they've been such fabulous clients. Honestly, at the rates Fiverr generates, they're getting freebies with every order. I'm insulted when they ask for free work. Then, they always go and find Grammarly, tell me it's copied and want re-writes. The re-writes wind up having to be so different that it could be another article all together. Boom - freebie accomplished. What a scam. I'm so tired of it that I'm thinking of leaving Fiverr.

As a seller on the site, I have very little possible recourse. The buyer can give me a bad rating which will hurt business if I don't cave and do as they ask with the re-writes. At the same time, I really don't care anymore.

Carseats

I've recently come to realize that apparently not all parents, grandparents or caregivers realize that car seats have an expiration date or that they should be used by certain sizes of children at certain points in their life. Using a car seat incorrectly can cause serious harm or even death, so it seems like this is something that can't possibly be talked about enough on the internet. I mean, if you're hammered with the same message over and over, you'll have to get it eventually... right?


In the spirit of being an open book, today's rant is inspired by my sister-in-law who uses an expired bucket seat for her youngest and backless boosters for her 2 (almost 3) and 4 year olds. Oh yes, you read that correctly. Not a single one of her 3 children are in a car seat that's appropriate for their size AND not expired. Mother of the year, right there. I've tried subtly and not so subtly to tell her that she's basically a horrible parent, but being that she's bipolar or some other variety of crazy, she gleefully ignores me and moves on to bigger and more dangerous things. If anyone wants to punch her, feel free.

Back to my point. Carseat safety... lets start with some basic things that EVERYONE regardless of whether you have kids or not, should know.

1.) Carseats expire. Shocking, I know. Typically for a bucket seat (that's the type you put those adorable little babies in), it's 6 years. That means you can absolutely use it for multiple children, as long as those kids will be using it before it expires. Once it's past its prime, throw it out. Cut the straps so some other young parent can't snatch it up and put the seat where it belongs - in the trash.

You're probably wondering why you would throw away a perfectly good seat. Don't. Just stop that line of thought and throw it out. There are lots of reasons that manufacturers have for putting an expiration date on their seats. After 6 years the seat may have been bumped and jostled enough to compromise the inner foam or the strap material may start degrading at that time. Perhaps sunlight and exposure to heating/cooling with the seasons has weakened the plastic. Who knows. Not you and that's the point. Follow the instructions and keep your kids safe. If you don't know when your seat expires, you can look on it for a date of manufacture, then call the manufacturer and ask them. Or you could Google it. Or you could look in the owner's manual. Or you could look for an expiration date on the seat if it's relatively new. There's lots of options and no excuses.

2.)  Not all carseats are equal. A backless booster is NOT a good option for a 3 or 4 year old. The typical transition is from a bucket seat to a rear-facing 5-point harness. At 2 years you turn the 5-point around to be forward facing, though most states say you can do that at 1 year. It's safer to be rear facing, but if your kids are pukers you can make the switch at 1 year. After that it's a high-back booster and then finally to a backless booster. The bucket seat almost always lasts for at least a year, though there's no harm in transitioning to a rear-facing 5-point harness if your baby is big or if you don't mind taking them out of the seat at each stop. Keep them rear-facing for 1-2 years depending on if you value state laws or what's the absolute safest option. After that, turn them around so they're facing the front, but keep the 5-point harness. Most seats can harness kids over 40 pounds. When the child outgrows the weight for the seat or when their ears are above the carseat or when their shoulders are above the top harness adjustment, you can start thinking about a high back booster. The absolute minimum requirements are 4 years AND 40 pounds. If your child is 39.5 pounds and barely 4, don't make the transition as they probably still fit in a 5-point harness. Definitely don't switch them before that point as it's just not safe. Once your child outgrows the high back booster, you can trade them up to a backless booster. This happens around 6-8 years old and varies for every child. The backless booster scoots them up so that the seatbelt hits properly. They should stay in the booster until they can sit on the seat and have the belt hit correctly. State laws vary, but use your best judgement on this one.

My nephew is an average size child. He's about 4.5 years old and he's probably a little over 40 pounds. He could qualify for a high back booster, but he would almost definitely still fit in a 5-point harness. There is no way in hell he should be in a backless booster like he is. My other nephew is 2 (3 months shy of turning 3) and he too is in a booster. He should be in a 5-point harness for AT LEAST another year. Putting him in a booster is just irresponsible and I hope they never get into (another) car accident with him in the car because he is not protected.

Cinnabon Cinnamon Buns Copycat Recipe

Have you ever woken up at 4am thinking, "man... I wish I lived near a Cinnabon?" Well, if that's you at all, you NEED to print this recipe off.

Full disclosure here - this is not my recipe. I'm just in love with it to the point that I had to share it with everyone and give credit to the amazing blogger that posted it. She has changed my life in a cinnamony, delicious way. The original recipe can be found here. Besides the recipe, The Clever Housewife also has a picture tutorial which is great if you've never made cinnamon buns before or if you just want to verify that yours look right (or if you want to look at a little food porn while your breadmaker does all the work for you). If nothing else, you should click the link and follow her because I've made a few of her recipes and they're all good. She also has a Facebook page and posts great deals. Basically - just follow the woman. Anyone who makes a cinnamon roll recipe like this deserves some love.

If you just can't wait another minute to click on the link, here's the text version of the recipe:

Cinnabon Cinnamon Roll Recipe

Prep time:  1 hour 45 mins

Cook time:  15 mins

Total time:  2 hours

Serves: 15

 

Ingredients

• 4 Tbs melted butter
• 4 Tbs water
• ½ box instant vanilla pudding (half of the 3.4 oz box)
• 1 cup milk
• 1 egg
• 1 Tbs sugar
• ½ tsp salt
• 4 cups bread flour (will still taste good with all-purpose flour)
• 2½ tsp yeast
• ½ softened butter
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 2 tsp cinnamon

Frosting:

• 4 oz cream cheese, softened
• ¼ cup butter, softened
• 1½ cups powdered sugar
• ½ tsp vanilla
• 1½ tsp milk

Instructions

1. Place the first 9 ingredients in the bread machine (butter through yeast).
2. Set bread machine for the dough cycle (should be about 1.5 hours). Knead and let rise several times if not using a bread machine.
3. Remove dough from bread machine and roll out to a 17″x10″ rectangle.
4. Spread softened butter over dough and sprinkle with brown sugar & cinnamon.
5. Roll dough from long end, like a jellyroll.
6. Pinch ends to close.
7. Slice rolled dough into ½” slices. This is easy to do using unflavored dental floss.
8. Place rolls into greased pan and let rise until doubled. This works best if you cover pan with a clean towel and place on top of the oven while it preheats.
9. Bake rolls at 350°, for 15-20 minutes, until golden.
10. Mix all frosting ingredients until smooth.Spread on warm rolls.

Preschool is Ruining Children

Today's rant is about preschool. Or specifically, about how preschool is ruining children (and their parents). Seems a little outrageous, right? Well, stick with me for a minute and I'm sure you'll see where I'm going with this.

We went to our first ever preschool open house last week. We're not checking out 5 different schools, interviewing teachers, comparing and contrasting the curriculum, etc. like most parents do. I picked the preschool based on proximity (it's at the end of my street, about a mile away) and the fact that it's the "public" preschool, so my daughter will start making friends in her town. It's also part of the elementary school she'll be going to, so I think it'll make the transition easier. We met the teachers, saw the facilities and I'm comfortable sending her there. She loved it and can't wait to go back.

Now, for the "ugly" side of things. I'm a part of the local Moms Club as you may know. I'm also pretty sure that out of the 50 moms in the club, I'm the only mother without any children over the age of 1 enrolled in what is called "EI" or Extra Instruction. You get enrolled into EI through your doctor. Usually, it's for a speech or physical delay, though judging by the excessively high number of people in the Moms Club who utilize the service, I'd say they aren't putting "delayed" kids into EI, but rather any kid who's parent is willing to label them as being delayed, special, borderline autistic, etc.

Why would a parent want to put a label on their kid that could hurt them later in life? The answer is simple - by having your child labeled, you suddenly have access to a huge (and free) EI network. For young kids this means 1 on 1 tutoring with a specialist designed to rip your baby out of infancy and toss them into toddlerhood. For slightly older kids, this means a free drop-off playgroup, giving mom some alone-time to run errands. Once little Johnny or Jenny hits the rip old age of 3, those in the EI system are evaluated and at least 50% are transitioned to an IEP - or individualized education plan. This is the new way of saying "integrated special ed". As a 3 year old, that means free preschool. You heard that correctly - FREE preschool. For those of us with kids who aren't "special" or "delayed", we shell out $1700 in tuition for town preschool and even more for private. But wait, it gets better. Kids on an IEP, transferring into the system from EI also get free bus service to take them to and from preschool. I'm not really sure how the child being a little on the slow side has anything to do with the parent's ability to pick them up or drop them off, but it somehow does. Us suckers who pay have to pick up and drop off our kids, every day. I should mention too that EI/IEP is NOT based on income, so families making significantly more money than ours are getting preschool for free, while we're going to be making payments.

When the IEP kids get older, they will be given unlimited time for tests in school and general expectations will be dramatically reduced in terms of academics. If the child performs badly, you can blame it on a bad IEP rather than a lack of effort. No child with an IEP should fail. Ever.

It doesn't stop with the EI/IEP kids either. For low-income families that have somehow managed to not have their kids labeled as EI/IEP (I'm really not sure how many "normal" kids there are out there, since I'm the only one in the Moms Club with beautifully average children), they qualify for headstart. In general, headstart is a great program. However, once the headstart kids begin getting things that the other kids don't get (with the exception of financial assistance), it becomes an issue to me. Again, headstart kids get free bus service. They also get fed for free at the school. Lunch or breakfast isn't even an option to those that pay. Neither is bus service.

So my conclusion is this: Preschool is ruining kids - and their parents. It's putting unnecessary pressure on parents to have their children labeled as special, delayed, etc. to get free tuition and those labels will follow the kids for the rest of their lives. For the low-income children, the excessive nature of the headstart program with the added bonuses of breakfast or lunch and a free bus ride along with free tuition, is teaching the kids from a very early age to appreciate entitlements and get what they can while they can get it.

Meanwhile, while everyone else is getting it for free, my own kid is going 3 days a week instead of 5 because I can't afford the 5-day program. Heck, we can't even afford the 3 day program, but on paper it looks like we can. She's starting preschool at 4 years old while most of the other kids in town start at 3 because I simply can't afford 2 years of preschool and nobody is picking up the tab for me. Not that I'm worried about it - I think 2 years of preschool is a cop-out on the moms part. There is no reason for 2 years of preschool - heck, when I was a kid, half the other kids in school never even went to preschool. Only those of us in the daycare system seemed to have gone. On top of all the financial injustices of it, I'm going to struggle to bundle and stuff 3 kids in and out of the car twice a day on school days to pick up and drop off my oldest daughter. Wonderful.

How can the system be fixed? Well, for starters, the entire EI thing needs to go away. There's nothing wrong with a 2 year old that can't handle scissors. Heck, my 4 year old can't handle scissors that well. There's nothing wrong with a 1 year old that doesn't talk a lot. They'll talk when they're ready - worry about their speech when they're 3 or maybe even 4. Birth problems like heart murmurs do not automatically make you special. Picky eater? Still not special. Doctors need to learn to tell parents that everything little Johnny or Jenny does that isn't "adult-like" does not mean they're only playing with half a deck of cards. The doctors need to stop handing out EI recommendations like lollipops and make parents actually do a little parenting. Maybe then we can stop some of this handout nonsense, quit giving kids excuses for doing badly in school and shooting each other and work at turning the trend of raising whiners and whimps around.

Now that I'm good and ticked off, I should probably end this rant before I offend even more people. If you're a parent with a kid who has been labeled and you're reading this, I hope you realize what type of psychological damage you're inflicting on your child. Take a good look at your kid and what you expect from them, then ask yourself if THEY have the delay or if you do. Children aren't mini adults - you have to raise them and teach them things. They don't all learn at the same pace and they won't all be good at the same things. If there's anything I've learned from my 2 (soon to be 3) kids, it's that there is no "normal", so do yourself a favor and clear off the shelf of parenting books on your bookshelf. Take your cues from your kid. Spend more time interacting with them and less time reading books about ideas of how you can engage them. It may be scary, but it'll all work out, I promise.