Sorry that I've been slacking off on my posting. This is the end of the year, and as usual, it's my busy time. So, I've been around, but I've been working rather than updating my blog. On top of that, it has been crazy holiday party season around here, so I've had to cram all of my work into the week while we travel on the weekends. Chaos at its finest.
This weekend we're spending some time at home. It's the beginning of my husband's vacation time for the holidays and we don't have any commitments. It took a lot of finagling to get that to happen, but we did it! We're going to bake cookies and watch movies... but of course I'll have to work.
Actually, I took another assignment at the last minute, which is why I won't get to relax with my husband during his 2 weeks off. But this assignment was worth $300 and we have a lot of bills to pay, so I took it. No matter how much money I make, it seems like it's never enough. Story of my life, I guess.
Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know where I've been lately and where I'll be the next couple of weeks.
If I'm not on here before the holidays, Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 19, 2014
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Finacea Review - The Beginning
Well guys, I finally did it. I went and saw a dermatologist about my rosacea. I've been suffering for a little over a year now. It began when I was pregnant with my youngest and soon it spread to envelope my entire face. My eyes are red rimmed and I look like a prepubescent teenager that never showers, but manages to find time to smoke a lot of crack. It's a good look - really it is.
I'm so sick of being red and bumpy with red-rimmed eyes all the time. I made an appointment in September to see the dermatologist and my appointment just came up (thanks, universal healthcare... that should have been my sarcasm font, if you didn't catch that). Thankfully, she was really nice.
Unfortunately, there's not a lot of things I can use because I'm still nursing my 8-month old. The dermatologist did tell me about 1 product that's "probably safe", but relatively untested in nursing mothers. It's called Finacea.
Now, Finacea is considered class B in the 2nd and 3rd term of pregnancy, with no ill effects on the developing baby, so I figured it's probably pretty safe for nursing. I said to go ahead and send the Rx over.
With my insurance, it would be a $30 copay to get it. That was pretty steep because I'm not used to spending that kind of money on facial care products. Maybe that's why my rosacea is so bad? Who knows. I went over to the manufacturer's website for reviews to see how it worked before I spent that kind of money and I wound up finding a coupon good for $30 off your first 4 prescriptions! With the coupon, my cost is $0!
So now I get to try Finacea for free for up to 4 months. I'll know by then if it's working or not, so for me it's a win all around. If it works, great and if it doesn't work, I'm not out anything.
I've used it twice now. Once last night and once this morning. After the very first application my pores shrunk and my skin was noticeably smoother. I'm not exaggerating, my husband noticed it too. My face was so rough that the change was easily detected.
I'm going to keep using the Finacea and report back periodically with my progress.
I'm so sick of being red and bumpy with red-rimmed eyes all the time. I made an appointment in September to see the dermatologist and my appointment just came up (thanks, universal healthcare... that should have been my sarcasm font, if you didn't catch that). Thankfully, she was really nice.
Unfortunately, there's not a lot of things I can use because I'm still nursing my 8-month old. The dermatologist did tell me about 1 product that's "probably safe", but relatively untested in nursing mothers. It's called Finacea.
Now, Finacea is considered class B in the 2nd and 3rd term of pregnancy, with no ill effects on the developing baby, so I figured it's probably pretty safe for nursing. I said to go ahead and send the Rx over.
With my insurance, it would be a $30 copay to get it. That was pretty steep because I'm not used to spending that kind of money on facial care products. Maybe that's why my rosacea is so bad? Who knows. I went over to the manufacturer's website for reviews to see how it worked before I spent that kind of money and I wound up finding a coupon good for $30 off your first 4 prescriptions! With the coupon, my cost is $0!
So now I get to try Finacea for free for up to 4 months. I'll know by then if it's working or not, so for me it's a win all around. If it works, great and if it doesn't work, I'm not out anything.
I've used it twice now. Once last night and once this morning. After the very first application my pores shrunk and my skin was noticeably smoother. I'm not exaggerating, my husband noticed it too. My face was so rough that the change was easily detected.
I'm going to keep using the Finacea and report back periodically with my progress.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
15 Minute Weekday Meal
We're all busy, but it seems like December is just a beast of a month for everyone. Between Christmas parties, decking the halls, shopping and wrapping gifts, it's easy to let the little things slide, like cooking dinner.
In the past 5 days, I can count the number of times we've eaten dinner before 8pm on one hand. That's not something I'm proud of, but it's a sad reality. To help bring a little bit of sanity back into my life, I decided to pick up a couple quick meal items the last time I was at the grocery store, which sadly, was 2 weeks ago now. Anyway, tonight's dinner took literally 15 minutes to make. Here's what we had:
Steak Tips with Mushrooms, Baked Potatoes and Salad
Ingredients:
1.5 pounds steak tips
3 medium to large potatoes
4 ounces fresh mushrooms
1 medium onion
1 bag of pre-washed salad
1 tomato
1/4 cup cheese cubes (leftover from another meal)
Directions:
Plug in your George Foreman grill and let it start heating up. Meanwhile, wash and prick potatoes. Place them on a plate and set in the microwave. Peel and slice the onion into thick slices. By this point, a few minutes have passed and the Foreman grill should be preheated. Spray it with some cooking spray and toss the onions on.
While the onions are cooking, season your meat. I just used garlic salt and pepper. Super easy! Make sure you get both sides. Slice up your mushrooms and toss them in a frying pan with a little bit of olive oil, then turn to medium heat. All of this should only take 2 to 3 minutes.
Turn the microwave on for 10 minutes - the potatoes are already in there. Remove the onions from the Foreman grill and toss them in with the mushrooms. Put the steak tips on the grill and close it.
While the steak is cooking, slice your tomato and open your bagged salad. You'll have a couple of minutes to get a glass of wine, clean up a little or check Facebook. You could also channel your inner Martha Stewart and slice some cucumber or something for the salad or set the table. Don't forget to check on your mushrooms.
When the microwave bings, pull out the potatoes. The steak should be a lovely medium to medium-well at this point, so you can go ahead and pull that off too. The mushrooms should be done too. Let the steak rest while you put the mushrooms in a bowl. Transfer everything to the dinner table, sit down and eat. You now have a fantastic dinner in roughly 15 minutes.
In the past 5 days, I can count the number of times we've eaten dinner before 8pm on one hand. That's not something I'm proud of, but it's a sad reality. To help bring a little bit of sanity back into my life, I decided to pick up a couple quick meal items the last time I was at the grocery store, which sadly, was 2 weeks ago now. Anyway, tonight's dinner took literally 15 minutes to make. Here's what we had:
Steak Tips with Mushrooms, Baked Potatoes and Salad
Ingredients:
1.5 pounds steak tips
3 medium to large potatoes
4 ounces fresh mushrooms
1 medium onion
1 bag of pre-washed salad
1 tomato
1/4 cup cheese cubes (leftover from another meal)
Directions:
Plug in your George Foreman grill and let it start heating up. Meanwhile, wash and prick potatoes. Place them on a plate and set in the microwave. Peel and slice the onion into thick slices. By this point, a few minutes have passed and the Foreman grill should be preheated. Spray it with some cooking spray and toss the onions on.
While the onions are cooking, season your meat. I just used garlic salt and pepper. Super easy! Make sure you get both sides. Slice up your mushrooms and toss them in a frying pan with a little bit of olive oil, then turn to medium heat. All of this should only take 2 to 3 minutes.
Turn the microwave on for 10 minutes - the potatoes are already in there. Remove the onions from the Foreman grill and toss them in with the mushrooms. Put the steak tips on the grill and close it.
While the steak is cooking, slice your tomato and open your bagged salad. You'll have a couple of minutes to get a glass of wine, clean up a little or check Facebook. You could also channel your inner Martha Stewart and slice some cucumber or something for the salad or set the table. Don't forget to check on your mushrooms.
When the microwave bings, pull out the potatoes. The steak should be a lovely medium to medium-well at this point, so you can go ahead and pull that off too. The mushrooms should be done too. Let the steak rest while you put the mushrooms in a bowl. Transfer everything to the dinner table, sit down and eat. You now have a fantastic dinner in roughly 15 minutes.
Friday, December 5, 2014
Nephews
This morning I've been thinking about my nephews and I hope that they'll all be safe in a couple of hours as their mother brings them out into the world to run errands, go to school and visit her friends.
It started with a yard sale site. A person was giving away a car seat, but the seat had to have been 10 to 15 years old. Someone quickly commented that they wanted it and thankfully, another mom stepped up and told her that the seat was expired and shouldn't be used.
On came the slew of people who had no idea that car seats expired.
This really shouldn't be shocking, especially not to people in my generation who have only really started having kids in the last 10 years or so. Unfortunately, it appears that expiration dates aren't the only thing confusing some parents these days. Many, like my sister-in-law, don't know or don't care which seat to use for which stage of development. So, I thought I'd post a helpful carseat guide in case there's any grandparents or young parents out there reading this:
So back to my original point, all I can do is hope they're all safe today. The way the laws are written in her state, as long as she uses a carseat, she's fine, but that doesn't make it better.
It started with a yard sale site. A person was giving away a car seat, but the seat had to have been 10 to 15 years old. Someone quickly commented that they wanted it and thankfully, another mom stepped up and told her that the seat was expired and shouldn't be used.
On came the slew of people who had no idea that car seats expired.
This really shouldn't be shocking, especially not to people in my generation who have only really started having kids in the last 10 years or so. Unfortunately, it appears that expiration dates aren't the only thing confusing some parents these days. Many, like my sister-in-law, don't know or don't care which seat to use for which stage of development. So, I thought I'd post a helpful carseat guide in case there's any grandparents or young parents out there reading this:
Obviously there's some overlap in this image and it's really super general in regards to ages and completely ignores height and weight. When moving your child to the next type of carseat, you should make sure they are of the proper height AND weight to make sure they're safe.
So what does any of this have to do with my nephews? Well, despite numerous attempts at educating her, helpful hints and pleas to family members that she speaks to, she still uses the wrong car seats out of convenience. Yes, putting a 5-point harness on all of your kids can be annoying, but it's necessary to keep them safe.
She moved each of her 3 children out of the rear facing baby bucket seat into a forward-facing car seat before the 1 year mark, sometimes well in advance by 3 or 4 months. Between 2 and 3, she switches them over to a belt-positioning high back booster seat. By 4, or whenever a younger sibling "needs" the high-back booster, they are in a backless booster.
Right about now, at least 1 person is probably saying that boys are bigger, blah blah blah. Her youngest failed to thrive and is extremely small. Her middle child also failed to thrive and is small for his age. Only her oldest did well and even he is about average for a boy. So no, I don't think that her children being male is justification for using the wrong seat.
The reason, or so I understand, is because 1.) It's easier to just connect/unconnect 1 buckle and 2.) Booster seats are narrower and fit better in the car.
Now, you may think that I'm holding her to some type of unsustainable standards or something, but I'm really not. I know, because I'm in the same boat. I have a baby under 1 who is still in an infant seat. I have a 3 year old that is in a forward-facing 5-point seat and I have a 5 year old who is also in a forward-facing 5-point seat. Would my life be easier if the 5 year old were in a belt-positioning booster? You bet. She wouldn't be safer though, so she stays where she is.
So back to my original point, all I can do is hope they're all safe today. The way the laws are written in her state, as long as she uses a carseat, she's fine, but that doesn't make it better.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Something Positive
I'm aware that a lot of my posts can be on the negative side. Usually, I review products when they're not so stellar rather than when they're awesome and any post that involves my in-laws is bound to wound up all doom and gloom.
So, just to change things up, I thought I'd post something positive.
Today, I woke up to a little gift from our relatively new kitten. We live in a house that's 65-ish years old and the back yard is heavily wooded. Mice are an issue. There's no way around it. When we first bought the house, I thought it was weird how there were so many cats in the neighbor's windows and so many cats just wandering around. Ha! Turns out it's because of all the mice. We got a cat a couple years ago, but he ran off. So, this summer we got another cat - a replacement kitty if you will. She just turned 5 months old and unfortunately, we've started seeing little "droppings" in tell-tale places that let us know we have a mouse in the house. Well, today, I woke up and went into the living room. The cat was playing, and I didn't think anything of it. My daughter woke up, went over to get the cat and SCREAMED! A mouse! A mouse! Yes, the cat was playing with a dead mouse. She had caught it and apparently played with it until it died. There were no outward signs of trauma, no mess, nothing like what we would wake up to find with our old cat.
The kitten has officially earned her keep. She's a snuggle bug and she's a great cat all around, but we were worried that she wasn't much of a mouser since we have seen evidence outside of a dead mouse for the first time in 2+ years. Today, we got confirmation that she can actually catch mice. It was a good morning.
After disposing of the body, my husband let the chickens out. One hen ran past him and deposited herself in a bush. It's pouring rain, so that was unusual. He grabbed her to put her under cover and noticed... A BLUE EGG! So, now we have 3 hens laying and 1 is laying blue eggs. It's an Easter Egger, so the egg color could have really been anything, but my husband was so hoping for blue eggs and it looks like he got it.
A blue egg and the first mouse. What a morning! My husband left for work happy, even though it is raining.
We also heard this morning that it will be SNOWING here Wednesday night into Thanksgiving. We usually travel to my parents' house for Thanksgiving, then stay the night to go black Friday shopping while they have the kids. I am just a little bit excited at the prospect of being snowed-in and having our own Thanksgiving here without the travel headaches. So, if the forecast holds, I think I'm going to push for it. My mom will be disappointed, but it has been a long year and I could really use the time off with my family. So, silver linings, right?
See - just because it's Monday doesn't mean it can't be a good day.
So, just to change things up, I thought I'd post something positive.
Today, I woke up to a little gift from our relatively new kitten. We live in a house that's 65-ish years old and the back yard is heavily wooded. Mice are an issue. There's no way around it. When we first bought the house, I thought it was weird how there were so many cats in the neighbor's windows and so many cats just wandering around. Ha! Turns out it's because of all the mice. We got a cat a couple years ago, but he ran off. So, this summer we got another cat - a replacement kitty if you will. She just turned 5 months old and unfortunately, we've started seeing little "droppings" in tell-tale places that let us know we have a mouse in the house. Well, today, I woke up and went into the living room. The cat was playing, and I didn't think anything of it. My daughter woke up, went over to get the cat and SCREAMED! A mouse! A mouse! Yes, the cat was playing with a dead mouse. She had caught it and apparently played with it until it died. There were no outward signs of trauma, no mess, nothing like what we would wake up to find with our old cat.
The kitten has officially earned her keep. She's a snuggle bug and she's a great cat all around, but we were worried that she wasn't much of a mouser since we have seen evidence outside of a dead mouse for the first time in 2+ years. Today, we got confirmation that she can actually catch mice. It was a good morning.
After disposing of the body, my husband let the chickens out. One hen ran past him and deposited herself in a bush. It's pouring rain, so that was unusual. He grabbed her to put her under cover and noticed... A BLUE EGG! So, now we have 3 hens laying and 1 is laying blue eggs. It's an Easter Egger, so the egg color could have really been anything, but my husband was so hoping for blue eggs and it looks like he got it.
A blue egg and the first mouse. What a morning! My husband left for work happy, even though it is raining.
We also heard this morning that it will be SNOWING here Wednesday night into Thanksgiving. We usually travel to my parents' house for Thanksgiving, then stay the night to go black Friday shopping while they have the kids. I am just a little bit excited at the prospect of being snowed-in and having our own Thanksgiving here without the travel headaches. So, if the forecast holds, I think I'm going to push for it. My mom will be disappointed, but it has been a long year and I could really use the time off with my family. So, silver linings, right?
See - just because it's Monday doesn't mean it can't be a good day.
Happy Holidays?
Another holiday season is upon us and while some are dreaming of turkey, gifts under the Christmas tree and made-for-TV movies, I'm firmly entrenched in seasonal family drama.
The latest tiff comes care of... you guessed it, my sister-in-law.
Lets start from the beginning, shall we? My mother-in-law hosted her annual un-Thanksgiving this past weekend. We went, with the expectation that we'd be discussing Christmas arrangements. As expected, my mother-in-law wants to include the kids of her new husband and their kids in the gift-giving extravaganza.
So, that makes a grand total of 11 adults and 8 kids - 19 people total. Fortunately, the new adult additions are just as hard-up for money as we are they quickly figured out that 19 people x $10 each = $190. My brother-in-law's psycho wife was saying we should spend "at least" $20 on each kid. I suppose that's a great thought when you have the most kids.
Anyway, we took a "majority rules" approach and decided on a Yankee swap for the adults and a name-draw for the kids. My mother-in-law and her husband opted out, saying they want to buy for everyone, so in turn everyone will buy for them. Her husband's daughter (a single, childless woman) announced that she would like to just buy gifts for her own niece and nephew, which is totally understandable. That means 8 adults and 8 kids would be participating, so each adult would buy for 1 kid.
So at least the list has been dwindled from us bringing 14 gifts to just bringing 4 gifts. Two are for the yankee swap and have a cap of $15 and 2 are for kids and also have a cap of $15. We should be able to get out for under $60. I'm actually grabbing items from my gift-closet for the adult Yankee swap, bringing the total down to $30 for that portion of the family.
My sister-in-law left furious because they had already bought gifts for the kids and apparently can't return them. They want everyone to buy for their kids too. After they left, the new portion of the family asked what my sister-in-law's problem was. I laughed. I didn't know where to begin!
Hopefully Christmas is less dramatic than it's shaping up to be so far!
The latest tiff comes care of... you guessed it, my sister-in-law.
Lets start from the beginning, shall we? My mother-in-law hosted her annual un-Thanksgiving this past weekend. We went, with the expectation that we'd be discussing Christmas arrangements. As expected, my mother-in-law wants to include the kids of her new husband and their kids in the gift-giving extravaganza.
So, that makes a grand total of 11 adults and 8 kids - 19 people total. Fortunately, the new adult additions are just as hard-up for money as we are they quickly figured out that 19 people x $10 each = $190. My brother-in-law's psycho wife was saying we should spend "at least" $20 on each kid. I suppose that's a great thought when you have the most kids.
Anyway, we took a "majority rules" approach and decided on a Yankee swap for the adults and a name-draw for the kids. My mother-in-law and her husband opted out, saying they want to buy for everyone, so in turn everyone will buy for them. Her husband's daughter (a single, childless woman) announced that she would like to just buy gifts for her own niece and nephew, which is totally understandable. That means 8 adults and 8 kids would be participating, so each adult would buy for 1 kid.
So at least the list has been dwindled from us bringing 14 gifts to just bringing 4 gifts. Two are for the yankee swap and have a cap of $15 and 2 are for kids and also have a cap of $15. We should be able to get out for under $60. I'm actually grabbing items from my gift-closet for the adult Yankee swap, bringing the total down to $30 for that portion of the family.
My sister-in-law left furious because they had already bought gifts for the kids and apparently can't return them. They want everyone to buy for their kids too. After they left, the new portion of the family asked what my sister-in-law's problem was. I laughed. I didn't know where to begin!
Hopefully Christmas is less dramatic than it's shaping up to be so far!
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Another One Bites the Dust
Another day, another friend moving away.
It seems like there's some sort of mass exodus happening, with people fleeing New England like it's ground-zero for the plague.
Well, if you hate snow the way I do, I suppose it kind of is...
Anyway, one of the few moms here that I've really bonded with is moving. Her husband flew to NC, interviewed for a job and now they're packing up the kids, putting the house on the market and leaving just before Christmas.
Talk about crushing depression. My cynical side tells me this is God warning me that I should not have friends. This is God telling me to lock myself in my house and forget about making meaningful connections. Friendships take years to forge as an adult and as soon as you've connected with someone, they leave. Maybe I'm picking the wrong type of friends or maybe I'm just not where I should be in life.
I'm not a born and bred New Englander. I find the ladies that were born here, raised here and have never lived more than 10 miles from their birthplace just don't appeal to me. Their world view is too small, their stance too liberal, their cold-tolerance too high. They squeal in glee at the first snowfall while I put on a hoodie and close the blinds, willing it to stop. I'm also not a fan of the stiff, sarcastic, borderline mean sense of humor that most New Englanders have. They just aren't friendly people.
Yes, I realized I said "they". After living here for more than a decade, I still don't count myself as a New Englander. I was born and raised on the West Coast, but I don't feel like that fits me either. I'd move to the midwest in a heartbeat if I didn't have some sort of messed-up claustrophobia that makes me panic when the ocean is too far. That and it generally snows in the mid-west. Like a lot. Like maybe more than in New England. Snow = no bueno for this girl.
The American Southwest isn't my thing either. I watch too much news and I'm convinced there's just Mexican gangs running around kidnapping, raping and sometimes killing or selling like 99% of the women down there. I have female children. That's just not going to work out. I'll take endless winter over the possibility of a Mexican drug-lord selling my daughters into sex slavery, thanks.
So what does that leave? The south east coast? I have no family there, though some friends from high school live there now. Coordinating a job change, selling a house, buying a house and moving with 3 kids - 1 of which is in school now - seems like a daunting task. So far, I haven't been able to convince my husband (who is a born and bred New Englander) to do it. He'd have to take the first step in finding a new job, and thus far, it just hasn't happened. He says he's not a fan of New England, but I think he's afraid to go anywhere new. He loves to travel, but when it comes to "home" he seems to be afraid of change. Kind of funny, since I'm the opposite. I'm not big on traveling, but I seem to have the wanderlust when it comes to calling somewhere "home".
My current record for living in 1 house is 9 years. That encompasses my entire life and actually, that stretch happened as a child. We've lived in this house for 6.5 years now. The need to move is a real thing. I don't love this house and I definitely don't love this town. Thinking that it may be my longest place of residence is troubling, to say the least.
Lets hope an opportunity that's too good to pass up comes up before the 9 year mark. This can't be my longest place of residence.
It seems like there's some sort of mass exodus happening, with people fleeing New England like it's ground-zero for the plague.
Well, if you hate snow the way I do, I suppose it kind of is...
Anyway, one of the few moms here that I've really bonded with is moving. Her husband flew to NC, interviewed for a job and now they're packing up the kids, putting the house on the market and leaving just before Christmas.
Talk about crushing depression. My cynical side tells me this is God warning me that I should not have friends. This is God telling me to lock myself in my house and forget about making meaningful connections. Friendships take years to forge as an adult and as soon as you've connected with someone, they leave. Maybe I'm picking the wrong type of friends or maybe I'm just not where I should be in life.
I'm not a born and bred New Englander. I find the ladies that were born here, raised here and have never lived more than 10 miles from their birthplace just don't appeal to me. Their world view is too small, their stance too liberal, their cold-tolerance too high. They squeal in glee at the first snowfall while I put on a hoodie and close the blinds, willing it to stop. I'm also not a fan of the stiff, sarcastic, borderline mean sense of humor that most New Englanders have. They just aren't friendly people.
Yes, I realized I said "they". After living here for more than a decade, I still don't count myself as a New Englander. I was born and raised on the West Coast, but I don't feel like that fits me either. I'd move to the midwest in a heartbeat if I didn't have some sort of messed-up claustrophobia that makes me panic when the ocean is too far. That and it generally snows in the mid-west. Like a lot. Like maybe more than in New England. Snow = no bueno for this girl.
The American Southwest isn't my thing either. I watch too much news and I'm convinced there's just Mexican gangs running around kidnapping, raping and sometimes killing or selling like 99% of the women down there. I have female children. That's just not going to work out. I'll take endless winter over the possibility of a Mexican drug-lord selling my daughters into sex slavery, thanks.
So what does that leave? The south east coast? I have no family there, though some friends from high school live there now. Coordinating a job change, selling a house, buying a house and moving with 3 kids - 1 of which is in school now - seems like a daunting task. So far, I haven't been able to convince my husband (who is a born and bred New Englander) to do it. He'd have to take the first step in finding a new job, and thus far, it just hasn't happened. He says he's not a fan of New England, but I think he's afraid to go anywhere new. He loves to travel, but when it comes to "home" he seems to be afraid of change. Kind of funny, since I'm the opposite. I'm not big on traveling, but I seem to have the wanderlust when it comes to calling somewhere "home".
My current record for living in 1 house is 9 years. That encompasses my entire life and actually, that stretch happened as a child. We've lived in this house for 6.5 years now. The need to move is a real thing. I don't love this house and I definitely don't love this town. Thinking that it may be my longest place of residence is troubling, to say the least.
Lets hope an opportunity that's too good to pass up comes up before the 9 year mark. This can't be my longest place of residence.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Bah-Humbug
Well, it's that time of year. Black friday is just 2 weeks away and I'm making my annual Christmas shopping list. As I go through the names, all I can see are dollar signs. Christmas is expensive, and it's even more expensive when you're part of a large, broken, blended mess of a family like we are.
You see, my Christmas list looks something like this:
Immediate family:
spouse
3 kids
My family (4 people):
parents
brother
niece
Husband's family (23):
Dad + girlfriend
girlfriend's 2 kids
girlfriend's grand-daughter (lives with them)
husband's aunt + spouse
their 2 kids
Mom + husband
Mom's husband's son + spouse
their 2 kids
Mom's husband's daughter
middle brother + significant other
youngest brother + spouse
their 3 kids
I hate being one to put a price tag on everything and look cheap, but look at it like this, that list adds up to 27 extended family members plus my husband and our 3 kids. That's a HUGE shopping list. IF I managed to spend just $10 on each person - which isn't possible and never ever happens - we're looking at spending $270 before Santa even says his first round of ho ho ho. That's crazy!
So, I'm looking for ways to trim down Christmas costs for extended family members so I can focus on my own kids. Call me scrooge, but I'd rather take care of my kids before I worry about spending $10 on someone else's.
My mother-in-law claims it's not a huge burden, because she's just looking at the 14 people she brings to the party (19 total with us included). That's all she buys for, so that's all she thinks of.
My father-in-law doesn't think it's a burden because he only looks at the 11 people he buys for (16 counting us). He doesn't talk to my husband's youngest brother - long story - but that eliminates 5 people from his holiday shopping list.
My own parents don't think it's a burden because they only buy for 6 people (11 counting us).
My sister and I stopped exchanging gifts a while ago, though she still sends something small for each of the kids and I send something for my niece.
So for those that are part of a large, crazy extended family, how do you save on Christmas gifts? Do you do the homemade route? I need ideas!!
You see, my Christmas list looks something like this:
Immediate family:
spouse
3 kids
My family (4 people):
parents
brother
niece
Husband's family (23):
Dad + girlfriend
girlfriend's 2 kids
girlfriend's grand-daughter (lives with them)
husband's aunt + spouse
their 2 kids
Mom + husband
Mom's husband's son + spouse
their 2 kids
Mom's husband's daughter
middle brother + significant other
youngest brother + spouse
their 3 kids
I hate being one to put a price tag on everything and look cheap, but look at it like this, that list adds up to 27 extended family members plus my husband and our 3 kids. That's a HUGE shopping list. IF I managed to spend just $10 on each person - which isn't possible and never ever happens - we're looking at spending $270 before Santa even says his first round of ho ho ho. That's crazy!
So, I'm looking for ways to trim down Christmas costs for extended family members so I can focus on my own kids. Call me scrooge, but I'd rather take care of my kids before I worry about spending $10 on someone else's.
My mother-in-law claims it's not a huge burden, because she's just looking at the 14 people she brings to the party (19 total with us included). That's all she buys for, so that's all she thinks of.
My father-in-law doesn't think it's a burden because he only looks at the 11 people he buys for (16 counting us). He doesn't talk to my husband's youngest brother - long story - but that eliminates 5 people from his holiday shopping list.
My own parents don't think it's a burden because they only buy for 6 people (11 counting us).
My sister and I stopped exchanging gifts a while ago, though she still sends something small for each of the kids and I send something for my niece.
So for those that are part of a large, crazy extended family, how do you save on Christmas gifts? Do you do the homemade route? I need ideas!!
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
FREE Books
You're probably reading this post because you Googled the phrase, "FREE BOOKS", right?
Well, if you did, you're in luck.
I just heard about a program called Tyndale Rewards and it's pretty awesome. You see, Tyndale is a publisher of Christian-based books and they're making it easy for people to get books from some of their authors for free!
What's the catch? There isn't one! I'm not joking - no shipping, no handling. All you do is take a few minutes of your time to sign up to their rewards site and answer some short (like 5 questions) surveys, fill in your birthday and tell your friends.
I've gotten more than enough points to earn my first book and I've literally spent 10 minutes doing this. It's THAT easy! I'd say 10 minutes of my time is worth a free book, wouldn't you?
So go ahead and click the link, then sign up and start earning your free books today. :-)
Well, if you did, you're in luck.
I just heard about a program called Tyndale Rewards and it's pretty awesome. You see, Tyndale is a publisher of Christian-based books and they're making it easy for people to get books from some of their authors for free!
What's the catch? There isn't one! I'm not joking - no shipping, no handling. All you do is take a few minutes of your time to sign up to their rewards site and answer some short (like 5 questions) surveys, fill in your birthday and tell your friends.
I've gotten more than enough points to earn my first book and I've literally spent 10 minutes doing this. It's THAT easy! I'd say 10 minutes of my time is worth a free book, wouldn't you?
So go ahead and click the link, then sign up and start earning your free books today. :-)
Monday, November 10, 2014
Safety Tips for Women
It's sad that I'm actually writing this from my living room in the United States. Why? Because it's 2014 and I live in a first world country. Crimes against women are getting out of control and it seems like every time you turn around there's a serial rapist on the loose, or some guy getting his jollies by forcing himself on little kids. The other day there was a video of a woman in PA that was abducted right off the street.
It's sick.
So, I'd like to share some tips here to help women like myself stay safe.
1.) Avoid going out alone after dark. I know - you shouldn't have to avoid living your life because there's perverts lurking around every corner. You shouldn't need to plan on getting your grocery shopping done before 4:30 once daylight savings hits because it's suddenly not safe to buy milk and bread alone anymore.
TELL THAT TO YOUR CONGRESSMAN. After all, it's the fucked up politicians that are guilty of rape and child pornography possession that are deciding what the maximum punishments should be. No wonder the typical rape sentence is less than 3 years.
2.) Take a self-defense class. While it's probably not going to be all that helpful, it'll at least make you feel a little better. I just took one last night with a group of mom friends.
3.) When in doubt, gauge their eyes out. Seriously. Go for the eyes. If you can bring yourself to do it - destroy that eyeball. Stick your finger right through it. Smush it. Wreck the hell out of it. You'll be a lot harder to find and catch if the perp is blinded or only has 1 eye. You need 2 eyes for depth perception, so it'll be a lot easier to escape a 1-eyed rapist than one with perfect vision. Then, while they're writhing in pain for a minute or two, take out your Smith and Wesson and SHOOT THEM. Completely serious. An eye injury heals quickly - take that small amount of time to shoot the prick. Don't run. You'll need a minute or so to get your gun, load it, take the safety off, etc. so practice doing that quickly so you can finish the job off before sir-citizen-of-the-year recovers from the eye jab. Cops don't pursue rapists, especially if they didn't get the job done. If they happen to pick the guy up for another crime, he'll only get 3 years or less for rape. He knows that. If you manage to get away, he'll take his frustrations out on someone else, possibly a child.
Rapists can't be rehabilitated with anything less than a bullet to the head.
Uncomfortable with shooting someone in the head? Aim for the gut or the chest and let God sort it out. Hopefully he doesn't like rapists either and then the creep will have a few minutes to think about the path his life has taken before he bleeds to dead or suffocates from blood flowing into his lungs. Unfortunately, a non-head shot requires you to leave since they could potentially still be mobile enough to stab/shoot/strangle you at that point. Get yourself to safety before you bother calling 911 to let them know there's a rapist dying in the alley from a gunshot wound.
4.) Don't yell rape. It's a waste of breath and nobody will listen. Try something else, like "Fire!", "Lion!" or "Tornado!" As a culture, we're very desensitized to the idea of rape. It has somehow become okay or the victims fault if a woman is raped, so nobody bothers to stop or look when they hear it.
Make sure you make a lot of noise though. Noise can potential scare off the attacker - especially if it's getting attention. That's why you want to say the words that will bring people in.
5.) Be confident. I know it's hard to be confident and you can go from owning the alley to shrinking in a corner in about 2 seconds when faced with a real threat. So, if you don't feel confident, make yourself confident. Put your hand in your purse and hold onto your gun while you walk. Carry a keychain vial of pepperspray and hold it while you walk. No need to be super discreet - if the criminal knows your hand is on the trigger, they know you'll have time to react before they can even get to you. Sometimes just having your weapon of choice in your hand can give you the confidence you need to avoid being attacked.
But you're worried about looking crazy or paranoid? Don't be! Crazy chicks get attacked less. I'd rather be the weirdo that walks through the alley holding a gun in a pocket book than the victim any day.
6.) Put aside your objections. A mom friend recently told me that she doesn't think she could bring herself to actually shoot someone if it came to that. Why not? The way I see it, is that God only condemned unlawful murder. If someone is coming after you to rape you, you can safely say that they're breaking the law and that if they got away with their crime, they'd commit it again on someone else, possibly a child. I'm fairly certain God isn't going to hold it against you if you give them a 1-way ticket back to hell.
I'll just stop my tips right there. Avoid the attack, neutralize the attacker and then kill them.
Until women start fighting back in large numbers and rapists face more than a 3-year (or less) sentence, the rape culture will continue. Maybe if it becomes more common for death to be a consequence of raping, men will be less likely to rape.
It's sick.
So, I'd like to share some tips here to help women like myself stay safe.
1.) Avoid going out alone after dark. I know - you shouldn't have to avoid living your life because there's perverts lurking around every corner. You shouldn't need to plan on getting your grocery shopping done before 4:30 once daylight savings hits because it's suddenly not safe to buy milk and bread alone anymore.
TELL THAT TO YOUR CONGRESSMAN. After all, it's the fucked up politicians that are guilty of rape and child pornography possession that are deciding what the maximum punishments should be. No wonder the typical rape sentence is less than 3 years.
2.) Take a self-defense class. While it's probably not going to be all that helpful, it'll at least make you feel a little better. I just took one last night with a group of mom friends.
3.) When in doubt, gauge their eyes out. Seriously. Go for the eyes. If you can bring yourself to do it - destroy that eyeball. Stick your finger right through it. Smush it. Wreck the hell out of it. You'll be a lot harder to find and catch if the perp is blinded or only has 1 eye. You need 2 eyes for depth perception, so it'll be a lot easier to escape a 1-eyed rapist than one with perfect vision. Then, while they're writhing in pain for a minute or two, take out your Smith and Wesson and SHOOT THEM. Completely serious. An eye injury heals quickly - take that small amount of time to shoot the prick. Don't run. You'll need a minute or so to get your gun, load it, take the safety off, etc. so practice doing that quickly so you can finish the job off before sir-citizen-of-the-year recovers from the eye jab. Cops don't pursue rapists, especially if they didn't get the job done. If they happen to pick the guy up for another crime, he'll only get 3 years or less for rape. He knows that. If you manage to get away, he'll take his frustrations out on someone else, possibly a child.
Rapists can't be rehabilitated with anything less than a bullet to the head.
Uncomfortable with shooting someone in the head? Aim for the gut or the chest and let God sort it out. Hopefully he doesn't like rapists either and then the creep will have a few minutes to think about the path his life has taken before he bleeds to dead or suffocates from blood flowing into his lungs. Unfortunately, a non-head shot requires you to leave since they could potentially still be mobile enough to stab/shoot/strangle you at that point. Get yourself to safety before you bother calling 911 to let them know there's a rapist dying in the alley from a gunshot wound.
4.) Don't yell rape. It's a waste of breath and nobody will listen. Try something else, like "Fire!", "Lion!" or "Tornado!" As a culture, we're very desensitized to the idea of rape. It has somehow become okay or the victims fault if a woman is raped, so nobody bothers to stop or look when they hear it.
Make sure you make a lot of noise though. Noise can potential scare off the attacker - especially if it's getting attention. That's why you want to say the words that will bring people in.
5.) Be confident. I know it's hard to be confident and you can go from owning the alley to shrinking in a corner in about 2 seconds when faced with a real threat. So, if you don't feel confident, make yourself confident. Put your hand in your purse and hold onto your gun while you walk. Carry a keychain vial of pepperspray and hold it while you walk. No need to be super discreet - if the criminal knows your hand is on the trigger, they know you'll have time to react before they can even get to you. Sometimes just having your weapon of choice in your hand can give you the confidence you need to avoid being attacked.
But you're worried about looking crazy or paranoid? Don't be! Crazy chicks get attacked less. I'd rather be the weirdo that walks through the alley holding a gun in a pocket book than the victim any day.
6.) Put aside your objections. A mom friend recently told me that she doesn't think she could bring herself to actually shoot someone if it came to that. Why not? The way I see it, is that God only condemned unlawful murder. If someone is coming after you to rape you, you can safely say that they're breaking the law and that if they got away with their crime, they'd commit it again on someone else, possibly a child. I'm fairly certain God isn't going to hold it against you if you give them a 1-way ticket back to hell.
I'll just stop my tips right there. Avoid the attack, neutralize the attacker and then kill them.
Until women start fighting back in large numbers and rapists face more than a 3-year (or less) sentence, the rape culture will continue. Maybe if it becomes more common for death to be a consequence of raping, men will be less likely to rape.
Friday, November 7, 2014
Don't Brag About Being Debt Free
Facebook is a huge inspiration for a lot of my posts. After all, where else can you catch up on the latest gossip, check the news and simultaneously discover that 2/3 of your friends are annoying a-holes?
Today's post is courtesy of a mama that tends to brag a little too much and a little too loudly to be entirely believable. Her posts always have a fakely cheerful tone to them that borders on condescending.
Today's post: So glad I've made good choices in regards to credit cards, bills and spending that have allowed me to be debt free.
The post was followed by numerous people congratulating her.
I on the other hand refrained from commenting. Why? Not because I'm jealous that she's debt free (Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form debt free and I won't be for the rest of my life. Thanks college bills, medical bills, husband's debt, etc...) I was irritated by her post because it isn't true.
She may not be debt free - but she owes society a ton.
You see, her utopia is funded on the back of numerous social programs. She is a photographer that deals only in cash. Her husband is also a business owner... that deals only in cash. She has posted vague comments before regarding her reason for that and they almost sound like she's alluding to tax fraud sometimes. After all, it's hard for the government to track a cash-only business. You pretty much have to rely on the honor system.
On top of that, they apply for - and get - every social program under the sun. From health care to preschool and even camp for her older kids, everything is paid for. Her kids - all 3 of them - don't cost her a dime. They also make her family eligible for a number of other social welfare safety nets. They're careful to fly below the radar. They rent a house rather than buy one and avoid purchases that would raise red flags - like newer cars that would require a car payment. New clothes are never an issue. On top of all that, they go on vacation all the time and Christmas at their house is second to none.
On the other hand, I'm sitting here trying to skim down the grocery budget to free up money to pay off debt. I drive a 10-year old car and haven't bought new clothes for myself in years. My kids don't go to camp - I can't afford it - and we've sacrificed as a family to put my oldest in preschool, but since we pay for it, there is no bus and I have to drive her myself. Because my husband's income is reported through a W-2, we don't qualify for any social programs. None. No discounts on preschool tuition or anything like that. We buy our healthcare to the tune of nearly $1000 per month and that's the one offered through my husband's job. Purchasing it outright through the state's exchange would double the cost for a similar plan and no, it's hardly great. Before universal healthcare, our coverages were much better and the costs were much lower. Next year, when my oldest is in kindergarten, she'll go for free, but I'll have to pay for the school bus or drive her myself. Lunch will be another expense, and kids are asked to not bring their own because of allergies. The last time I went on a vacation was for my honeymoon, 6.5 years ago.
It would be nice if we could keep our money.
One thing that would really help our solidly middle-class family stay afloat is if we could keep our money. I know what you're thinking - I haven't mentioned my own job. I'm a stay at home mom. Daycare cost more than I would bring in, so I decided to stay home. I know that there will be time to work when the kids are older and in school. I know I won't make as much later on because of my choice to stay home now, but I made that sacrifice in order to have a family. Material possessions are meaningless if you don't have anyone to enjoy them with.
Take this as an example... the photographer friend I mentioned above? Lets figure out what she REALLY makes.
She says they make $30k/year, so we'll use that as the base point.
Salary: $30k
Free medical: $12k (this is what we pay through an employer-sponsored plan... hers doesn't have co-pays, so I'd say the value is a little higher, but we'll leave it alone.)
Free 5-day pre-k: $5k
Free bus ride: $200
Food stamps: $3k (I have no idea what people get for food stamps.)
Free Summer camp for 3 kids: $2k (again, I have no idea what her camp would cost, this was just an estimate)
Total: $52,200
Now lets compare to an average family that doesn't get any assistance.
Salary: $70k
Medical: -$12k
5-day pre-k: -$5k
Bus: -$200
Total: $52,800
Pretty similar, right? Except the family that doesn't get assistance still has to pay for food, summer camp for their kids and co-pays at the doctor. The family that doesn't get help will also pay more in taxes. In a lot of areas, getting assistance means you can't own a home. That means the family getting help also avoids paying real estate tax while the family without help probably does own a home and is paying real estate tax, trash removal, etc. The family getting help may pay those fees through their rent, though they may also be getting housing assistance, which would negate that.
Add in that the $30k is only what is REPORTED by the self-employed photographer family and you can see how easy it would be for someone like that to be debt-free while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet and often have to add to our debt to get by.
So the next time you want to brag about being debt free - make sure you're not relying on social programs to live that type of life. You're never debt free if you owe your way of life to social programs funded by taxes from families that are adding to their debt burden to make ends meet.
Today's post is courtesy of a mama that tends to brag a little too much and a little too loudly to be entirely believable. Her posts always have a fakely cheerful tone to them that borders on condescending.
Today's post: So glad I've made good choices in regards to credit cards, bills and spending that have allowed me to be debt free.
The post was followed by numerous people congratulating her.
I on the other hand refrained from commenting. Why? Not because I'm jealous that she's debt free (Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form debt free and I won't be for the rest of my life. Thanks college bills, medical bills, husband's debt, etc...) I was irritated by her post because it isn't true.
She may not be debt free - but she owes society a ton.
You see, her utopia is funded on the back of numerous social programs. She is a photographer that deals only in cash. Her husband is also a business owner... that deals only in cash. She has posted vague comments before regarding her reason for that and they almost sound like she's alluding to tax fraud sometimes. After all, it's hard for the government to track a cash-only business. You pretty much have to rely on the honor system.
On top of that, they apply for - and get - every social program under the sun. From health care to preschool and even camp for her older kids, everything is paid for. Her kids - all 3 of them - don't cost her a dime. They also make her family eligible for a number of other social welfare safety nets. They're careful to fly below the radar. They rent a house rather than buy one and avoid purchases that would raise red flags - like newer cars that would require a car payment. New clothes are never an issue. On top of all that, they go on vacation all the time and Christmas at their house is second to none.
On the other hand, I'm sitting here trying to skim down the grocery budget to free up money to pay off debt. I drive a 10-year old car and haven't bought new clothes for myself in years. My kids don't go to camp - I can't afford it - and we've sacrificed as a family to put my oldest in preschool, but since we pay for it, there is no bus and I have to drive her myself. Because my husband's income is reported through a W-2, we don't qualify for any social programs. None. No discounts on preschool tuition or anything like that. We buy our healthcare to the tune of nearly $1000 per month and that's the one offered through my husband's job. Purchasing it outright through the state's exchange would double the cost for a similar plan and no, it's hardly great. Before universal healthcare, our coverages were much better and the costs were much lower. Next year, when my oldest is in kindergarten, she'll go for free, but I'll have to pay for the school bus or drive her myself. Lunch will be another expense, and kids are asked to not bring their own because of allergies. The last time I went on a vacation was for my honeymoon, 6.5 years ago.
It would be nice if we could keep our money.
One thing that would really help our solidly middle-class family stay afloat is if we could keep our money. I know what you're thinking - I haven't mentioned my own job. I'm a stay at home mom. Daycare cost more than I would bring in, so I decided to stay home. I know that there will be time to work when the kids are older and in school. I know I won't make as much later on because of my choice to stay home now, but I made that sacrifice in order to have a family. Material possessions are meaningless if you don't have anyone to enjoy them with.
Take this as an example... the photographer friend I mentioned above? Lets figure out what she REALLY makes.
She says they make $30k/year, so we'll use that as the base point.
Salary: $30k
Free medical: $12k (this is what we pay through an employer-sponsored plan... hers doesn't have co-pays, so I'd say the value is a little higher, but we'll leave it alone.)
Free 5-day pre-k: $5k
Free bus ride: $200
Food stamps: $3k (I have no idea what people get for food stamps.)
Free Summer camp for 3 kids: $2k (again, I have no idea what her camp would cost, this was just an estimate)
Total: $52,200
Now lets compare to an average family that doesn't get any assistance.
Salary: $70k
Medical: -$12k
5-day pre-k: -$5k
Bus: -$200
Total: $52,800
Pretty similar, right? Except the family that doesn't get assistance still has to pay for food, summer camp for their kids and co-pays at the doctor. The family that doesn't get help will also pay more in taxes. In a lot of areas, getting assistance means you can't own a home. That means the family getting help also avoids paying real estate tax while the family without help probably does own a home and is paying real estate tax, trash removal, etc. The family getting help may pay those fees through their rent, though they may also be getting housing assistance, which would negate that.
Add in that the $30k is only what is REPORTED by the self-employed photographer family and you can see how easy it would be for someone like that to be debt-free while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet and often have to add to our debt to get by.
So the next time you want to brag about being debt free - make sure you're not relying on social programs to live that type of life. You're never debt free if you owe your way of life to social programs funded by taxes from families that are adding to their debt burden to make ends meet.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
MiLend: The Loan from Hell
I thought I posted my final MiLend review. I really did. The lawyer came to our house, we signed the appropriate papers and we were finished... or were we?
Last Friday I got an email... oopsie doodle, our old lender paid the taxes the day before they received our payoff, which put our escrow account over $300 into the negative because we were told to skip our October payment, when we would have put another $500 into the account.
Meanwhile, the firm handing the disbursement of money also paid our taxes. So they wound up shorting the old mortgage provider about $300. No problem, the firm (MiLend's firm) called me up and asked me to shoot over a personal check to cover the difference. Um.. what? Sure, let me just pull $300 I wasn't counting on spending out of my butt right before the holidays. Fantastic planning.
What if I don't? Well, then our loan isn't actually "paid off" and we'll accrue a daily interest on the $300 that we can pay at the end of the month on the next statement date.
I'll tell you - the communication between MiLend, their partners and the rest of the world is atrocious.
Even when we THOUGHT we were done. When we THOUGHT we didn't have to give any more money, sign any more paperwork or make any more calls, we weren't.
Really - if you're considering doing business with them and you have a budget, value your sanity or just don't like getting the run-around, seriously reconsider what you're about to do. MiLend is NOT an easy lender to work with. I'm dreading what it will be like to make mortgage payments to them.
Last Friday I got an email... oopsie doodle, our old lender paid the taxes the day before they received our payoff, which put our escrow account over $300 into the negative because we were told to skip our October payment, when we would have put another $500 into the account.
Meanwhile, the firm handing the disbursement of money also paid our taxes. So they wound up shorting the old mortgage provider about $300. No problem, the firm (MiLend's firm) called me up and asked me to shoot over a personal check to cover the difference. Um.. what? Sure, let me just pull $300 I wasn't counting on spending out of my butt right before the holidays. Fantastic planning.
What if I don't? Well, then our loan isn't actually "paid off" and we'll accrue a daily interest on the $300 that we can pay at the end of the month on the next statement date.
I'll tell you - the communication between MiLend, their partners and the rest of the world is atrocious.
Even when we THOUGHT we were done. When we THOUGHT we didn't have to give any more money, sign any more paperwork or make any more calls, we weren't.
Really - if you're considering doing business with them and you have a budget, value your sanity or just don't like getting the run-around, seriously reconsider what you're about to do. MiLend is NOT an easy lender to work with. I'm dreading what it will be like to make mortgage payments to them.
Monday, November 3, 2014
All Alone
Nothing quite like crying in your living room out of loneliness...
Today has been one of those days. I'm frustrated with my mother-in-law and her overbooking of us around the holidays. I wanted to just have time with my family this year and maybe even throw a birthday party for my soon to be 5-year old in the same month that she was born rather than at her half-birthday, 6 months later.
I vented my frustrations to my FIL's girlfriend, whom I've come to think of as a friend.
I was wrong.
I didn't realize that our conversation would be entertaining evening reading material for my father-in-law. I didn't realize that he'd then act on what bits and pieces he read and send a bitter email to my mother-in-law, forwarding it to my husband and I when he was done.
My mother-in-law very predictably called my husband, asking what the heck happened and why would I say anything to FIL's girlfriend. Husband called me, angry that his mother was angry, asking what happened.
I was just venting and having a candid conversation, like I would with a friend. I didn't realize that friend would sell me out. I didn't realize my father-in-law would read a private conversation and go off the rails.
Instead of being embarrassed or angry, I just feel numb and alone. I'm crying because of the loneliness, not because my mother-in-law and husband are mad at me. I'm crying because I feel like I lost a confidant that could understand me. I'm crying because I've reached the point where I'm done caring and I realize that's the first step down the long path that leads to divorce. I don't want my kids to grow up in a broken family and I'm crying because I'm not sure if the alternative is even a possibility anymore. The holidays are supposed to be a happy time of year, not one that you dread with every fiber of your being because of the people you have to see and deal with. I have anxiety and depression and this time of year always sets it off. It's not the shorter days - it's spending 2 or 3 weekends a month in the presence of my mother-in-law - a woman who has always done her best to make me feel bad.
I don't know what will finally make me give up for good, but I will say that now is as close as I've ever been. I've always known I didn't have a chance of having a good relationship with my in-laws, but I always told myself it didn't matter. Well, it does matter. The only way it wouldn't matter is if we lived on the other side of the country, but my husband won't go and I can't cut my kids off from their father no matter how much I need to get away from this place. Their needs always trump mine, so for now I'll have to make due with crying alone in the living room, typing my sorrow out to unknown strangers on the internet.
Today has been one of those days. I'm frustrated with my mother-in-law and her overbooking of us around the holidays. I wanted to just have time with my family this year and maybe even throw a birthday party for my soon to be 5-year old in the same month that she was born rather than at her half-birthday, 6 months later.
I vented my frustrations to my FIL's girlfriend, whom I've come to think of as a friend.
I was wrong.
I didn't realize that our conversation would be entertaining evening reading material for my father-in-law. I didn't realize that he'd then act on what bits and pieces he read and send a bitter email to my mother-in-law, forwarding it to my husband and I when he was done.
My mother-in-law very predictably called my husband, asking what the heck happened and why would I say anything to FIL's girlfriend. Husband called me, angry that his mother was angry, asking what happened.
I was just venting and having a candid conversation, like I would with a friend. I didn't realize that friend would sell me out. I didn't realize my father-in-law would read a private conversation and go off the rails.
Instead of being embarrassed or angry, I just feel numb and alone. I'm crying because of the loneliness, not because my mother-in-law and husband are mad at me. I'm crying because I feel like I lost a confidant that could understand me. I'm crying because I've reached the point where I'm done caring and I realize that's the first step down the long path that leads to divorce. I don't want my kids to grow up in a broken family and I'm crying because I'm not sure if the alternative is even a possibility anymore. The holidays are supposed to be a happy time of year, not one that you dread with every fiber of your being because of the people you have to see and deal with. I have anxiety and depression and this time of year always sets it off. It's not the shorter days - it's spending 2 or 3 weekends a month in the presence of my mother-in-law - a woman who has always done her best to make me feel bad.
I don't know what will finally make me give up for good, but I will say that now is as close as I've ever been. I've always known I didn't have a chance of having a good relationship with my in-laws, but I always told myself it didn't matter. Well, it does matter. The only way it wouldn't matter is if we lived on the other side of the country, but my husband won't go and I can't cut my kids off from their father no matter how much I need to get away from this place. Their needs always trump mine, so for now I'll have to make due with crying alone in the living room, typing my sorrow out to unknown strangers on the internet.
Holiday Hell
Well folks, it's officially November and that means it's time to start thinking about the holidays. This is the time of year I lovingly refer to as "holiday hell".
Why, you ask? Well, we have 3 sets of extended family thanks to 1 messy divorce on my husbands side. That means that we have to squeeze in time with his dad (and family), his mom (and family) and my parents. His dad lives an hour away, his mom an hour and a half away and my parents 2 1/2 hours away. That's if we don't hit traffic. Any amount of traffic will add 30 minutes or more to any of those trips. And those are 1 way!
To add to the fun, his mother is perpetually in school, which means she plans events on Sundays. For those who work Monday-Friday, getting home late Sunday after a long day of traveling with the holiday rush does not make for a fun work week. This point is completely lost on her when she plans things and picking 2 or 3pm for a party is not uncommon.
I'd like to add that we're the only ones that live this far away. My brother lives with my parents and my sister lives on the other side of the country, so traveling isn't an issue for either of them. My husband's youngest brother lives roughly 10 minutes from his dad, but isn't speaking to him, so never has to travel there and roughly 20 minutes from his mom. Not a long trip at all and they can completely do other things before or after traveling to her house for a party. Their other family lives in the same town as them too. My husband's other brother lives right there too - 10 minutes from their dad, 20 from their mother. He's speaking to both, but is gay and has no children, which makes traveling so much easier and also means less of a time demand during the holidays.
We're the odd man out living far away (we had to move closer to a city for jobs) and having a family of our own that we'd like to do more things with than simply putting the kids to bed after a long day of riding in the car.
So now I'm sitting here seething because I'd like to celebrate my daughter's birthday near its actual date (she was born on December 23rd), but we can't because the month is so overbooked that it isn't even funny. We'll be lucky if we can even finish Christmas shopping on time!
How does everyone else deal with excessive holiday demands? It's not just the holidays either - my mother-in-law wants to celebrate her new husband's birthday on a separate date and it just so happens to fall in December, so that's another "party".
Why, you ask? Well, we have 3 sets of extended family thanks to 1 messy divorce on my husbands side. That means that we have to squeeze in time with his dad (and family), his mom (and family) and my parents. His dad lives an hour away, his mom an hour and a half away and my parents 2 1/2 hours away. That's if we don't hit traffic. Any amount of traffic will add 30 minutes or more to any of those trips. And those are 1 way!
To add to the fun, his mother is perpetually in school, which means she plans events on Sundays. For those who work Monday-Friday, getting home late Sunday after a long day of traveling with the holiday rush does not make for a fun work week. This point is completely lost on her when she plans things and picking 2 or 3pm for a party is not uncommon.
I'd like to add that we're the only ones that live this far away. My brother lives with my parents and my sister lives on the other side of the country, so traveling isn't an issue for either of them. My husband's youngest brother lives roughly 10 minutes from his dad, but isn't speaking to him, so never has to travel there and roughly 20 minutes from his mom. Not a long trip at all and they can completely do other things before or after traveling to her house for a party. Their other family lives in the same town as them too. My husband's other brother lives right there too - 10 minutes from their dad, 20 from their mother. He's speaking to both, but is gay and has no children, which makes traveling so much easier and also means less of a time demand during the holidays.
We're the odd man out living far away (we had to move closer to a city for jobs) and having a family of our own that we'd like to do more things with than simply putting the kids to bed after a long day of riding in the car.
So now I'm sitting here seething because I'd like to celebrate my daughter's birthday near its actual date (she was born on December 23rd), but we can't because the month is so overbooked that it isn't even funny. We'll be lucky if we can even finish Christmas shopping on time!
How does everyone else deal with excessive holiday demands? It's not just the holidays either - my mother-in-law wants to celebrate her new husband's birthday on a separate date and it just so happens to fall in December, so that's another "party".
Friday, October 31, 2014
School Fundraisers
Every fall I'm barraged by friends and family requesting me to purchase some expensive piece of crap that I don't need in the name of a fundraiser. 10 percent goes to little Johnny's school! You have to buy something to support the kids!
Most of the time, I grudgingly hunt out the cheapest thing in the catalog, order it, and be on my way.
Then my daughter started school. School that I pay for. Every. Single. Month. We were about a month into the school year when her teacher sent home a fundraiser.
Are you fricken kidding me?!
What is my tuition going towards? I have a really hard time doing a fundraiser and bumming money off friends and family to pay for "extra supplies" when I pay tuition, provide a snack and drink for the entire class once a month and have the pleasure of viewing the teacher's classroom wish list every time I drop off and pick up my child (there's no bus either).
We don't send her to an elite preschool or anything like that. She goes to the town's preschool, which is attached to the elementary school. I feel like between the wish list, the tuition money and the mandatory snack-sharing, it should be more than enough. She's only in school 2 days a week for 2.5 hours a day! Each month she gets at least 1 day off for a holiday, a professional development day or something like that. I just don't get it.
I realize that little kids use a lot of "art supplies", but I would think that would be taken into account with the tuition. Surely, they don't just use it to pay the teachers. They don't have building expenses since they operate out of the back of the elementary school, which is funded with tax money. It's really just teacher salaries and classroom supplies. I'm at a complete loss.
Most of the time, I grudgingly hunt out the cheapest thing in the catalog, order it, and be on my way.
Then my daughter started school. School that I pay for. Every. Single. Month. We were about a month into the school year when her teacher sent home a fundraiser.
Are you fricken kidding me?!
What is my tuition going towards? I have a really hard time doing a fundraiser and bumming money off friends and family to pay for "extra supplies" when I pay tuition, provide a snack and drink for the entire class once a month and have the pleasure of viewing the teacher's classroom wish list every time I drop off and pick up my child (there's no bus either).
We don't send her to an elite preschool or anything like that. She goes to the town's preschool, which is attached to the elementary school. I feel like between the wish list, the tuition money and the mandatory snack-sharing, it should be more than enough. She's only in school 2 days a week for 2.5 hours a day! Each month she gets at least 1 day off for a holiday, a professional development day or something like that. I just don't get it.
I realize that little kids use a lot of "art supplies", but I would think that would be taken into account with the tuition. Surely, they don't just use it to pay the teachers. They don't have building expenses since they operate out of the back of the elementary school, which is funded with tax money. It's really just teacher salaries and classroom supplies. I'm at a complete loss.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Final MiLend Review
This will be my FINAL MiLend Review because after a long, 3 month process, we have FINALLY closed and the house is refinanced. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
I promise to keep this short and sweet. I won't go into all the different things that held us up, and instead I'll just highlight the important things that potential borrowers may want to think about.
Pros:
Cons:
I promise to keep this short and sweet. I won't go into all the different things that held us up, and instead I'll just highlight the important things that potential borrowers may want to think about.
Pros:
- They did finally close the deal.
- Their rates were better than other companies, which is why we went there in the first place.
Cons:
- Very poor communication. Emails would go unanswered, calls would go unreturned. You really have to be willing to hunt them down like a blood hound if you want to do business with them. It's not just the agent we were going through either - the 4 or 5 people on our team were all pretty much unreachable.
- It takes FOREVER because nobody there has any initiative to get things done on time and then certain aspects of the process have to be re-started the following month.
- They do like 3 or 4 employment verifications (because it takes so long), so then your job thinks you're some kind of bum or something getting a desperate last-minute loan.
- They have some pretty shady practices. Our guy encouraged us to not pay our mortgage (so it would be late) to avoid needing a new payoff request. He assured us they don't report the late payment for 30 days or so, but it was still worrisome. Had we closed on time, the first time, it wouldn't have ever been an issue.
- They expect you to return 50-page documents within an hour or 2, and blame delays in closing on your lack of responsiveness, but they don't follow up on payoff requests from your previous lender for more than a week.
- They advocate bad loans. Our guy wanted us to originally do a floating rate, which I was adamantly against. Didn't that cause the housing bubble? Yeah, no thanks.
Monday, October 20, 2014
MiLend Update
I'm frustrated beyond all belief.
Our closing date was supposed to be 2 days ago, but the fabulous folks at MiLend have apparently dropped off the face of the planet. Emails go unanswered and promises to get in touch ASAP are broken left and right.
I'm not sure what to think.
If you're in the market to refinance, please do yourself a favor and avoid MiLend. If we hadn't already invested so much time into this, I'd be running as fast as possible at this point. Unprofessional doesn't even begin to describe it. It literally takes 2 seconds to click "reply" to an email and type: Hi, I've received your email, but don't have anything new to report at this time. I'll be in touch when I know more."
Or... "Hi, I said I'd get back to you today with more information, but I haven't heard anything from underwriting. I'll check back in with you tomorrow if I don't hear from them by 4pm."
Or even... "Hi, I'm not dead and I'm still employed at MiLend, but I don't have any news for you."
If both hands were broken or burned in a serious accident, he could even just hold a pen in his mouth and type out, "got it" then hit send so I know he's at least receiving the damn emails or checking his voicemails.
So. Unbelievably. Frustrated.
Our closing date was supposed to be 2 days ago, but the fabulous folks at MiLend have apparently dropped off the face of the planet. Emails go unanswered and promises to get in touch ASAP are broken left and right.
I'm not sure what to think.
If you're in the market to refinance, please do yourself a favor and avoid MiLend. If we hadn't already invested so much time into this, I'd be running as fast as possible at this point. Unprofessional doesn't even begin to describe it. It literally takes 2 seconds to click "reply" to an email and type: Hi, I've received your email, but don't have anything new to report at this time. I'll be in touch when I know more."
Or... "Hi, I said I'd get back to you today with more information, but I haven't heard anything from underwriting. I'll check back in with you tomorrow if I don't hear from them by 4pm."
Or even... "Hi, I'm not dead and I'm still employed at MiLend, but I don't have any news for you."
If both hands were broken or burned in a serious accident, he could even just hold a pen in his mouth and type out, "got it" then hit send so I know he's at least receiving the damn emails or checking his voicemails.
So. Unbelievably. Frustrated.
Friday, October 17, 2014
My Husband Is Useless Part III
**Disclaimer** No comments about how I should leave my husband. He frustrates me sometimes and I blog about it. There are good times and bad times, just like with anyone else's relationship. I've got 3 kids with the guy under the age of 5, so you know there have been at least 3 moments in the last 5 years that he hasn't ticked me off badly enough to blog about it.
It's just after midnight and I'm looking at the glow of my computer screen. I'm sitting in the living room with my feet propped up while my 6 month old baby goes to town in the exersaucer a few feet in front of me. I'm not wowed by his cuteness or overcome with love right at the moment - no, I'm a seething bag of angry, overworked, underslept mama who's contemplating ways to castrate my usless husband in his sleep.
I've been having trouble sleeping lately. This happens to me from time to time, usually when I'm stressed or sick. Sometimes I'll go for a week sleeping just a few hours a night. It sucks, but I've got to say it's even worse this time because of my husband.
I finally finally finally got my brain to shut off last night/tonight by laying in bed, nursing my baby. (I say last night because lets face it - I'm not going back to sleep. You people that have ever had insomnia know what I'm talking about.) About 2 hours later the baby started fussing. Not crying for food, but fussing. He was awake. He does this sometimes because he's 6 months old and in his world, waking up in the middle of the night is a-ok. My husband at the time was sitting in bed next to me (I was sleeping) watching a TED talk on his phone.
He kept watching, completely ignoring the writhing, squirming, borderline-crying baby between us.
Trying to not wake all the way up, I tried to just nurse him back to sleep. No dice. I kept my eyes closed and told my husband to get him a pacifier. The following conversation ensued:
Him: "I don't know where there is one."
Are you kidding me?
Me: "Find one."
Him: "I don't know where you keep them."
Me: "They're everywhere, get up and look."
Him: "Do you really think that's what he wants?"
Me: "I don't know. Put a damn pacifier in his face and see if that's what he wants."
Him: "What else could it be?"
Me: "Damn it, get up and get a pacifier."
::Baby cries:: He resumes watching his show.
Yep, at this point I'm about to go ape-shit crazy. I'm fully awake now and I know there's NO WAY I'm going back to sleep. I get up, turn on the light and grab the pacifier that is literally on the damn dresser. Like right there. Like if I were awake and sitting where he was, I would have seen it.
I grabbed the pacifier and in the attempt, knocked the diaper bag, containing my wallet, down. I should note that my diaper bag was leaning precariously because my husband thought to pile a bunch of crap on top of it, making my midnight adventures all the more fun. Also, note that he feels the need to put children's shoes on top of my dresser, which drives me absolutely insane. Also note that he should have seen the pacifier while stacking shit on top of my dresser. My wallet fell out and landed smack in the bowl of water in the cats food dish on the floor. Fan-fucking-tastic.
I hand the pacifier to him and attempt to lay back down.
The baby continues to cry. I open my eyes to see him holding it half-assed against the baby's cheek. The baby is now mad at him, I'm mad at him, and he's just totally oblivious, watching his Ted talk.
Me: Clearly that's not working.
Him: Oh. Well here. I don't know what he wants.
Me: Maybe he just wants you to not put the pacifier in his ear?
Him: I don't know how to do this. You're better at this than me.
Note to husband: half-assed attempts at flattery do not work on sleep-deprived wives who have been woken up to care for the baby when YOU ARE ALREADY FUCKING AWAKE.
At that point, I grabbed the baby so my hands would be occupied and I wouldn't be able to throw anything at my husband's face. My husband thought that was his cue to put away his phone and snuggle down into the bed to go to sleep! Really?! You let the baby wake me up knowing full well that I'm running on a cumulative 8 hours of sleep FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK and then have the balls to get all comfy and lay down to go to sleep now that you know I'm taking him with me?
So that's why I'm in the living room, just after midnight. I fully plan to go wake that son of a bitch up in about an hour and continue the process every single hour for the rest of the night.
Karma. It'll get ya!
It's just after midnight and I'm looking at the glow of my computer screen. I'm sitting in the living room with my feet propped up while my 6 month old baby goes to town in the exersaucer a few feet in front of me. I'm not wowed by his cuteness or overcome with love right at the moment - no, I'm a seething bag of angry, overworked, underslept mama who's contemplating ways to castrate my usless husband in his sleep.
I've been having trouble sleeping lately. This happens to me from time to time, usually when I'm stressed or sick. Sometimes I'll go for a week sleeping just a few hours a night. It sucks, but I've got to say it's even worse this time because of my husband.
I finally finally finally got my brain to shut off last night/tonight by laying in bed, nursing my baby. (I say last night because lets face it - I'm not going back to sleep. You people that have ever had insomnia know what I'm talking about.) About 2 hours later the baby started fussing. Not crying for food, but fussing. He was awake. He does this sometimes because he's 6 months old and in his world, waking up in the middle of the night is a-ok. My husband at the time was sitting in bed next to me (I was sleeping) watching a TED talk on his phone.
He kept watching, completely ignoring the writhing, squirming, borderline-crying baby between us.
Trying to not wake all the way up, I tried to just nurse him back to sleep. No dice. I kept my eyes closed and told my husband to get him a pacifier. The following conversation ensued:
Him: "I don't know where there is one."
Are you kidding me?
Me: "Find one."
Him: "I don't know where you keep them."
Me: "They're everywhere, get up and look."
Him: "Do you really think that's what he wants?"
Me: "I don't know. Put a damn pacifier in his face and see if that's what he wants."
Him: "What else could it be?"
Me: "Damn it, get up and get a pacifier."
::Baby cries:: He resumes watching his show.
Yep, at this point I'm about to go ape-shit crazy. I'm fully awake now and I know there's NO WAY I'm going back to sleep. I get up, turn on the light and grab the pacifier that is literally on the damn dresser. Like right there. Like if I were awake and sitting where he was, I would have seen it.
I grabbed the pacifier and in the attempt, knocked the diaper bag, containing my wallet, down. I should note that my diaper bag was leaning precariously because my husband thought to pile a bunch of crap on top of it, making my midnight adventures all the more fun. Also, note that he feels the need to put children's shoes on top of my dresser, which drives me absolutely insane. Also note that he should have seen the pacifier while stacking shit on top of my dresser. My wallet fell out and landed smack in the bowl of water in the cats food dish on the floor. Fan-fucking-tastic.
I hand the pacifier to him and attempt to lay back down.
The baby continues to cry. I open my eyes to see him holding it half-assed against the baby's cheek. The baby is now mad at him, I'm mad at him, and he's just totally oblivious, watching his Ted talk.
Me: Clearly that's not working.
Him: Oh. Well here. I don't know what he wants.
Me: Maybe he just wants you to not put the pacifier in his ear?
Him: I don't know how to do this. You're better at this than me.
Note to husband: half-assed attempts at flattery do not work on sleep-deprived wives who have been woken up to care for the baby when YOU ARE ALREADY FUCKING AWAKE.
At that point, I grabbed the baby so my hands would be occupied and I wouldn't be able to throw anything at my husband's face. My husband thought that was his cue to put away his phone and snuggle down into the bed to go to sleep! Really?! You let the baby wake me up knowing full well that I'm running on a cumulative 8 hours of sleep FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK and then have the balls to get all comfy and lay down to go to sleep now that you know I'm taking him with me?
So that's why I'm in the living room, just after midnight. I fully plan to go wake that son of a bitch up in about an hour and continue the process every single hour for the rest of the night.
Karma. It'll get ya!
MiLend Review
A couple of years ago, we did an addition on our home to accommodate our growing family. Since the market wasn't great, getting a home equity loan to cover it wasn't possible and selling wasn't an option either. We relied on credit to get the addition done and planned to refinance to pay the debt off from adding onto the house.
Fast forward 2 years. We're attempting to refinance with a company called MiLend. While the refinance isn't finished yet, I'd like to just let everyone know how the experience has been so far.
Horrible.
First, our agent tried to rope us into a HELOC with a floating rate that would adjust monthly. That sounded horrible to me, but it was presented as our best and only option. We gathered paperwork and went through the motions. On the closing day, we got a message from the broker - the deal wouldn't go through.
On the other hand, he could offer us a refinance for a little less money, but it would have a locked rate and a lot of PMI. I liked that plan better, just because it didn't have a floating rate. Onward we forged... we were assured that we would close the following month. We did everything requested of us very quickly, faxing documents back and forth, calling creditors and more.
The day before our expected closing, they couldn't give us an exact time or even an exact date that we would be done. That afternoon, I got word that we were waiting on a payoff quote from our old lender. They had reached out a week before, but hadn't received it yet. Perhaps the brokers assistant would follow-up. I took the initiative to call myself and follow up. The lender had not received a payoff request. I had them fax one over immediately.
After that, I did not hear anything. I reached out on the day we planned to close to see what the expected closing date would be and I have been ignored. I am not a happy camper at this point.
I'm a little worried that their customer service is somewhat lacking and having a mortgage through them will be nothing short of a nightmare. I'm hesitant to go through another company since we've done so much work in getting this deal done and we really needed it refinanced last month. Starting over would mean at least another month of waiting.
So, if you're planning to refinance your home and you see MiLend come up as an option on your radar, go ahead and write it off. They are nothing short of a hot mess over there and it's not worth the aggravation you'll surely experience.
Fast forward 2 years. We're attempting to refinance with a company called MiLend. While the refinance isn't finished yet, I'd like to just let everyone know how the experience has been so far.
Horrible.
First, our agent tried to rope us into a HELOC with a floating rate that would adjust monthly. That sounded horrible to me, but it was presented as our best and only option. We gathered paperwork and went through the motions. On the closing day, we got a message from the broker - the deal wouldn't go through.
On the other hand, he could offer us a refinance for a little less money, but it would have a locked rate and a lot of PMI. I liked that plan better, just because it didn't have a floating rate. Onward we forged... we were assured that we would close the following month. We did everything requested of us very quickly, faxing documents back and forth, calling creditors and more.
The day before our expected closing, they couldn't give us an exact time or even an exact date that we would be done. That afternoon, I got word that we were waiting on a payoff quote from our old lender. They had reached out a week before, but hadn't received it yet. Perhaps the brokers assistant would follow-up. I took the initiative to call myself and follow up. The lender had not received a payoff request. I had them fax one over immediately.
After that, I did not hear anything. I reached out on the day we planned to close to see what the expected closing date would be and I have been ignored. I am not a happy camper at this point.
I'm a little worried that their customer service is somewhat lacking and having a mortgage through them will be nothing short of a nightmare. I'm hesitant to go through another company since we've done so much work in getting this deal done and we really needed it refinanced last month. Starting over would mean at least another month of waiting.
So, if you're planning to refinance your home and you see MiLend come up as an option on your radar, go ahead and write it off. They are nothing short of a hot mess over there and it's not worth the aggravation you'll surely experience.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Chicken Update
For all of you aspiring backyard chicken farmers that read this, I thought I'd post a quick update about my girls. My hens are now 23 (almost 24) weeks old. There are currently 2 birds laying, and I'm really hoping that at least my buff orpington starts before winter. I've been told that if they don't start to lay before the winter, they won't start until the following spring. They'd be nearly a year old at that point, and I'd love to get some eggs from them before then!
Both of the barred rocks are laying now and I've avoided buying eggs for the past 2 weeks, which is awesome. 2 hens give us 10-11 eggs per week, which is enough for light egg use during the week and a big breakfast on both weekend days. I'd like to get more hens laying because we also like boiled eggs and occasionally I like to do a tray of deviled eggs for parties. With the holidays coming up, eggs will be in high demand around here for cookies, egg trays and pies.
Fingers crossed the other birds get the memo soon!!
Both of the barred rocks are laying now and I've avoided buying eggs for the past 2 weeks, which is awesome. 2 hens give us 10-11 eggs per week, which is enough for light egg use during the week and a big breakfast on both weekend days. I'd like to get more hens laying because we also like boiled eggs and occasionally I like to do a tray of deviled eggs for parties. With the holidays coming up, eggs will be in high demand around here for cookies, egg trays and pies.
Fingers crossed the other birds get the memo soon!!
Monday, October 13, 2014
Unrealistic Expectations
I'm taking my 5-minute break today to write a quick blurb about unrealistic expectations - specifically, the ones we place on ourselves.
For me, I accepted an assignment that is going to cost me the weekend. The weekend is the only time my husband is home and it's the only time we can really spend together as a family. I value the weekends, but for some reason I gave this one up without a second thought.
So now I'm facing the prospect of hours upon hours of work to do this weekend when I should be spending time with my family. For what? A few hundred dollars. The chance to say that I'm a work-at-home mom with 3 young kids? Why do I put the pressure on myself to raise 3 children, keep the house clean, feed everyone healthy food and work non-stop from home? It seems crazy, but I do it because that's what my husband expects. He can't float all the bills by himself. We were fine before I stayed home, and even though that was very much a mutual decision, I feel the need to still contribute financially - mostly because I know he thinks I should.
After all, I'm a stay-at-home mom, so that means I must just sit around eating bon-bons all day, right? What are bon-bons anyway?
I sure hope that when the kids are older I won't regret spending all day working and cleaning instead of making messy art and playing outside. I hope the kids don't feel slighted. I hope my husband finally sees and understands what I'm doing and most of all, I hope the guilt goes away. Darned if you do, darned if you don't.
For me, I accepted an assignment that is going to cost me the weekend. The weekend is the only time my husband is home and it's the only time we can really spend together as a family. I value the weekends, but for some reason I gave this one up without a second thought.
So now I'm facing the prospect of hours upon hours of work to do this weekend when I should be spending time with my family. For what? A few hundred dollars. The chance to say that I'm a work-at-home mom with 3 young kids? Why do I put the pressure on myself to raise 3 children, keep the house clean, feed everyone healthy food and work non-stop from home? It seems crazy, but I do it because that's what my husband expects. He can't float all the bills by himself. We were fine before I stayed home, and even though that was very much a mutual decision, I feel the need to still contribute financially - mostly because I know he thinks I should.
After all, I'm a stay-at-home mom, so that means I must just sit around eating bon-bons all day, right? What are bon-bons anyway?
I sure hope that when the kids are older I won't regret spending all day working and cleaning instead of making messy art and playing outside. I hope the kids don't feel slighted. I hope my husband finally sees and understands what I'm doing and most of all, I hope the guilt goes away. Darned if you do, darned if you don't.
Friday, October 10, 2014
10 Ways to Slash Your Grocery Bill
Saving money is hard. Finding ways to cut back on your expenses can be stressful, difficult and depressing. However, knowing a handful of tricks can help you slash your grocery budget so you can work on saving more without even breaking a sweat. Read on for 10 ways to slash your grocery bill:
1.) Practice meal planning. Planning your meals makes it easy to get everything you need for the week in 1 fell swoop, which means no more tempting mid-week runs to the grocery store. It also helps you avoid overspending and it takes the hassle out of the 5 o'clock rush when you need to figure out what to put on the dinner table.
2.) Keep your pantry organized. Organization is the key to avoiding take-out because you're too tired to rifle through your pantry and then cook dinner.
3.) Don't shop hungry or tired. Once a week I make a "cheat" dinner that's ridiculously easy like sandwiches or something in the crock pot. It's ready as soon as my husband walks through the door. We eat, I help him get set up with the kids in the living room (it's also movie night) and then I spend an hour of kid-free time at the grocery store.
4.) Avoid convenience food. Pop your own popcorn in an air popper, make your own spaghetti sauce, shred your own cheese, etc. You'll save money and it will taste better and be better for you.
5.) Don't be a brand snob. Lets face it, there's not a lot of difference between brands of mustard or rice. Get whatever is the cheapest.
6.) Don't buy in bulk because you can. If you don't have the space or the need, buying in bulk doesn't make sense.
7.) Look up and look down. Eye level products are almost always the most expensive. Check out the upper and lower shelves for better deals. Of course, if you're short like me, nature has taken care of this one for you.
8.) Be smart about your drinks. Beverages have the biggest markup. Iced tea in a can can cost $2.50 on sale. A whole package of tea bags won't even cost that much and will make 30 times as much beverage.
9.) Take up gardening or visit your local farmer's market. Gardening has a modest start-up cost, but when you don't have to buy produce for 3-4 months, it's totally worth it. You can even can the surplus to last all year. The farmer's market can be another great resource depending on where you live.
10.) Hop on the meatless Monday trend. Cutting otu teh meat once a week can save you $20 a month or more. Probably more unless you're cutting out cheap meats like hot dogs and pork chops.
1.) Practice meal planning. Planning your meals makes it easy to get everything you need for the week in 1 fell swoop, which means no more tempting mid-week runs to the grocery store. It also helps you avoid overspending and it takes the hassle out of the 5 o'clock rush when you need to figure out what to put on the dinner table.
2.) Keep your pantry organized. Organization is the key to avoiding take-out because you're too tired to rifle through your pantry and then cook dinner.
3.) Don't shop hungry or tired. Once a week I make a "cheat" dinner that's ridiculously easy like sandwiches or something in the crock pot. It's ready as soon as my husband walks through the door. We eat, I help him get set up with the kids in the living room (it's also movie night) and then I spend an hour of kid-free time at the grocery store.
4.) Avoid convenience food. Pop your own popcorn in an air popper, make your own spaghetti sauce, shred your own cheese, etc. You'll save money and it will taste better and be better for you.
5.) Don't be a brand snob. Lets face it, there's not a lot of difference between brands of mustard or rice. Get whatever is the cheapest.
6.) Don't buy in bulk because you can. If you don't have the space or the need, buying in bulk doesn't make sense.
7.) Look up and look down. Eye level products are almost always the most expensive. Check out the upper and lower shelves for better deals. Of course, if you're short like me, nature has taken care of this one for you.
8.) Be smart about your drinks. Beverages have the biggest markup. Iced tea in a can can cost $2.50 on sale. A whole package of tea bags won't even cost that much and will make 30 times as much beverage.
9.) Take up gardening or visit your local farmer's market. Gardening has a modest start-up cost, but when you don't have to buy produce for 3-4 months, it's totally worth it. You can even can the surplus to last all year. The farmer's market can be another great resource depending on where you live.
10.) Hop on the meatless Monday trend. Cutting otu teh meat once a week can save you $20 a month or more. Probably more unless you're cutting out cheap meats like hot dogs and pork chops.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
20 Household Uses for Vinegar
I'm loving my new organization method and cleaning schedule. In an effort to be even more of "that mom", I've swapped out paper towels for cloth rags to clean with and I'm being more mindful of the chemicals and cleaners I'm using. One of my favorite things to use around the house right now is vinegar. It's safe, it's natural and best of all, it's cheap! You might not know how useful the stuff can be, so check out my list below to discover 20 household uses for vinegar.
- Make a simple cleaner with it. Just mix vinegar and water in a spray bottle and you're good to go. Use apple cider vinegar in places that have bad odors, like the refrigerator.
- Clean your cutting boards. Vinegar will kill germs, leaving the board sparkly and sanitary.
- Polish your brass with it. Just mix a cup of vinegar with a teaspoon of salt and a cup of flour to get a cleaning past eyou'll have to see to believe. Rub it on brass or metal cookeware then let it sit for 15 minutes. Rinse clean wtih water and you're done!
- Repell bugs. Most insects don't like vinegar. Instead of spending hundreds of dollars on various bug killers, grab a bottle of vinegar and enjoy the same results.
- Kill fruit flies. Mix apple cider vinegar and a few drops of dish soap in a small container. Fruit fly's will go in, bu they won't come out.
- Kill weeds. Vinegar is a natural and safe way to kill lawn weeds. Just spray some on your unwantend plants, being careful to avoid the ground around them. Let it sit for a day and watch the weeds wither.
- Add acidity to soil. If you have plants that demand high-acidity soil, mix up a cup of vinegar and a gallon of water, then water away.
- Keep flowers fresh. Add 2 tablespoons of vinegar and sugar to your vase before adding water to keep plants fresher, longer.
- Make some soap scum killer. Mix vinegar, baking soda and a little bit of blue dawn. Spray it on, let it sit and wipe away the soap scum.
- Clean toilets with it. You can do the inside and out with vinegar. Just let it sit in the bowl for half an hour before swirling with the brush and flushing.
- Shower head cleaner. Fill a plastic baggie with vinegar and put it over the shower head. Secure with a rubber band and let sit over night. Say goodbye to hard water buildup.
- Disinfect surfaces. Full-strength vinegar makes a great disinfectant.
- Clean tile. Use vinegar to clean your tile or grout by mixing a gallon of warm water with a cup of vinegar, a cup of ammonia and 1/2 a cup of baking soda.
- Take the sting out of insect bites. Apply vinegar to the site of the sting and say goodbye to pain.
- Clean up pet messes. Tired of smelling pet urine on your carpets or furniture? Saturate the area with vinegar, then wash with a carpet shampooer. The smell will be gone. You can use the vinegar in the drum of your washing machine if the soiled area is on a small throw rug, blanket or other type of washable fabric.
- Use it in the laundry. Add vinegar to your laundry in place of fabric softener. No, you won't smell like pickles.
- Clean hardwood floors with it. Apple cider vinegar and water make an excellent hardwood floor cleaner. You won't have any buildup and your floors will look great. There is a smell at first, but it quickly dissipates, taking nasty room odors with it.
- Clean the microwave. Mix vinegar and some water in a coffee mug. Microwave it for 3 minutes, then wipe the inside of the microwave out with a towel. It'll be sparkling clean and the vinegar will help trap any odors.
- Open clogged drains. Pour a healthy amount of baking soda in the sink or toilet that's clogged. Add vinegar and let the reaction bubble out the blockage. Once clear, pour hot water down the drain to get the last of the clog.
- Remove stickers. Heat up some vinegar in the microwave and then use a paper towel or rag to saturate the sticker in question with the warmed solution. Once saturated, the sticker will come right off without leaving any residue behind.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Getting Organized
I've been doing a lot of work lately in revamping my cleaning schedule and daily routine. That got me thinking - if I had trouble, maybe other people are struggling to sort their days out too.
I know that I'm extremely fortunate to be a stay at home mom and that not everyone has as much time as me to work on keeping their house clean, their fridges full and their families happy. That got me thinking - what if I could HELP other people manage their homes?
That one idea prompted me to sit down and create a small starter-pack of organizing tools. I call it Organizing 101. The packet includes an introduction to organizing, a printable Daily Sheet, an introduction to meal planning with a printable meal planning sheet and an introduction to housekeeping with an easy-to-use checklist.
You can find my Organizing 101 kit for sale on Fiverr. It costs just $5 and you get unlimited prints with it. I'm hoping to release more advanced kits in the near future, so you can expand on your homemaking skills over time. Get in on the deal now so you don't get overwhelmed when I expand on the collection. Check it out now and let me know what you think! :-)
I know that I'm extremely fortunate to be a stay at home mom and that not everyone has as much time as me to work on keeping their house clean, their fridges full and their families happy. That got me thinking - what if I could HELP other people manage their homes?
That one idea prompted me to sit down and create a small starter-pack of organizing tools. I call it Organizing 101. The packet includes an introduction to organizing, a printable Daily Sheet, an introduction to meal planning with a printable meal planning sheet and an introduction to housekeeping with an easy-to-use checklist.
You can find my Organizing 101 kit for sale on Fiverr. It costs just $5 and you get unlimited prints with it. I'm hoping to release more advanced kits in the near future, so you can expand on your homemaking skills over time. Get in on the deal now so you don't get overwhelmed when I expand on the collection. Check it out now and let me know what you think! :-)
Friday, October 3, 2014
Prosacea Review
I suffer from rosacea. It hasn't always been an issue, in fact, it only flared its ugly head when I was pregnant with my youngest who is now 5 months old. It began as a persistent patch of dry skin on my cheek. The patch erupted in bumps that looked like tightly packed micropimples. I had no other bumps anywhere on my face.
That didn't last long.
The rosacea spread to my other cheek, my nose and my chin. My eyes became red and inflamed with what my eye doctor calls "ocular rosacea". I was basically a hot mess.
I tried calling my primary care doctor for a referral to a dermatologist, but I live in MA and our universal healthcare universally stinks. I never got a call back and nobody seems to answer the phone at their practice. Not wanting to play phone tag for weeks on end while my face got worse, I took matters into my own hands and headed to the internet to consult my good friend, Google.
Dear Google told me about a little-known something called Prosacea. It's homeopathic. I was instantly skeptical. To me, homeopathic OTC medications just don't work as real as the chemically laden mainstream medications. Having no other options, I decided to give it a shot.
I've been using it in conjunction with Neutrogena's redness reducing cleanser. I apply the cleanser first, gently clean my skin, dry it and then apply the Prosacea.
The end result is pretty good. I've been using the system 2 times daily for 2 days and my face is noticeably softer with less bumps. The worst of the bumps are still there, but not as large and red as they were.
I will say though that the price ($8.88 for the Prosacea and $6.97 for the cream cleanser) is a bit steep considering the package sizes. The Prosacea gel also smells pretty bad since Sulfur is the main ingredient. I can't use it at night or it's hard to sleep with the stinky sulfur smell attacking my senses. I feel bad for my husband when he goes in for a kiss and gets a whiff of the face products.
On the other hand, the Neutrogena cleanser smells wonderful. It has chamomile extract in it which gives it a distinct smell. I wish the smell of the face cleanser would linger and drown out the Prosacea, but that doesn't happen.
So, in conclusion, if you have rosacea, consider using Prosacea and the green Neutrogrena cream cleanser.
That didn't last long.
The rosacea spread to my other cheek, my nose and my chin. My eyes became red and inflamed with what my eye doctor calls "ocular rosacea". I was basically a hot mess.
I tried calling my primary care doctor for a referral to a dermatologist, but I live in MA and our universal healthcare universally stinks. I never got a call back and nobody seems to answer the phone at their practice. Not wanting to play phone tag for weeks on end while my face got worse, I took matters into my own hands and headed to the internet to consult my good friend, Google.
Dear Google told me about a little-known something called Prosacea. It's homeopathic. I was instantly skeptical. To me, homeopathic OTC medications just don't work as real as the chemically laden mainstream medications. Having no other options, I decided to give it a shot.
I've been using it in conjunction with Neutrogena's redness reducing cleanser. I apply the cleanser first, gently clean my skin, dry it and then apply the Prosacea.
I will say though that the price ($8.88 for the Prosacea and $6.97 for the cream cleanser) is a bit steep considering the package sizes. The Prosacea gel also smells pretty bad since Sulfur is the main ingredient. I can't use it at night or it's hard to sleep with the stinky sulfur smell attacking my senses. I feel bad for my husband when he goes in for a kiss and gets a whiff of the face products.
On the other hand, the Neutrogena cleanser smells wonderful. It has chamomile extract in it which gives it a distinct smell. I wish the smell of the face cleanser would linger and drown out the Prosacea, but that doesn't happen.
So, in conclusion, if you have rosacea, consider using Prosacea and the green Neutrogrena cream cleanser.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Cleaning Memorabilia
This weeks cleaning challenge as posted by the CleanMama is to go through memorabilia.
Yay. Not.
I'll admit that I save WAY too much stuff. I can't bring myself to part with a silly hat I bought during spring break or a blurry and dark photo taken in the 5th grade of old friends. Don't ask me why, I just can't. So, I wind up with random boxes of photos and knick knacks. It's the 1 type of thing I truly hoard.
To top it off, most of my memorabilia items are stored in the attic where I never go and never look at them. It's hard to find time to get up there with 3 kids needing my attention. Why I feel that a crushed box of memorabilia in the attic that I never look at is important is beyond me. I know I can throw it away, but like with so many other things, the moment I do that is the moment I'll need it. That's how my luck works!
I'd really love to get the attic cleaned out this fall and I'm making it my goal. Its been my goal for the past few years, but hasn't happened yet. Hopefully this year I get it done once and for all. :-) I think part of the difficulty is that a lot of the stuff up there is my husband's and I can't really toss out his stuff without him knowing or minding.
Well I could, but I'd have to do it during the day, which brings me back to the original problem...
Yay. Not.
I'll admit that I save WAY too much stuff. I can't bring myself to part with a silly hat I bought during spring break or a blurry and dark photo taken in the 5th grade of old friends. Don't ask me why, I just can't. So, I wind up with random boxes of photos and knick knacks. It's the 1 type of thing I truly hoard.
To top it off, most of my memorabilia items are stored in the attic where I never go and never look at them. It's hard to find time to get up there with 3 kids needing my attention. Why I feel that a crushed box of memorabilia in the attic that I never look at is important is beyond me. I know I can throw it away, but like with so many other things, the moment I do that is the moment I'll need it. That's how my luck works!
I'd really love to get the attic cleaned out this fall and I'm making it my goal. Its been my goal for the past few years, but hasn't happened yet. Hopefully this year I get it done once and for all. :-) I think part of the difficulty is that a lot of the stuff up there is my husband's and I can't really toss out his stuff without him knowing or minding.
Well I could, but I'd have to do it during the day, which brings me back to the original problem...
Friday, September 26, 2014
Still Addicted to Facebook
I'm still addicted to Facebook.
I had to put that out there. I know I've mentioned it in the past and I've even done a post about breaking my addiction. Do you want to know how long that lasted? A day. That's right, a whole flipping day. Maybe not even that much.
I can't seem to go more than a few hours without checking my news feed and it seems like everything around me is enabling my addiction. I've contemplated just deleting my account, but EVERYTHING is linked to Facebook. Many many sites use it as the log-in, so if I delete Facebook, how will I access those other sites? I can do regular email sign-ins, but I don't have that set up on anything.
So, for now, Facebook stays. I just can't figure out how to break my habit of obsessively looking at the newsfeed and checking the yard sale pages. I know that 99% of the posts are garbage. I know I'm too broke to buy other people's stuff. I know there are a million other things I could be doing. But I'm not. I'm checking the newsfeed worrying about missing out on something awesome.
And what about when I'm not at home? I have Facebook on my smartphone. I know I should delete it, but sometimes when I'm nursing my son, it's a nice distraction for me while he falls asleep. I don't watch TV, and I'm not currently in love with the book I'm reading, but I'm too stubborn to quit it, so what else is there to do?
Does anyone want to quit Facebook with me? We can form a support group and check-in with one another to break our addictions. I know I can't do it alone!
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Daily Schedule
Every time the seasons change, I find myself yearning for efficiency, cleanliness and a better schedule. As we head into fall, those thoughts are just as prevalent as ever. As a result, I've been logging a lot of hours on Pinterest, looking at the schedules, cleaning logs and home-binders of perfect mothers across the internet.
That's not me.
Although I wish it was, I'm at a point in my life where I can finally admit that I will never be able to keep up with a household binder. It's basically just one more thing in my already packed to-do list. What works for me is simplicity - a to-do list, maybe some reminders and a grocery list. A regular wall calendar with appointments jotted down does just fine, though I do appreciate the reminder system in my phone too. I just wish it were easier to input appointments.
So this week, in addition to potty training my middle child (I just take the diapers away and let the chips fall where they may, it worked with my oldest and *knock on wood* so far so good with my middle child.), I'm also trying a new daily routine. It's not set in stone yet, but I'm trying to wake up an hour before everyone else so I can take care of me first thing in the morning (coffee, check email, etc.) and then I can tackle the rest of the day. Of course, that means waking up at 6 or 6:30 in the morning, but hey. I'm also working on designating the hour after the kids go to bed to picking up the house, doing dishes from dinner and showering. That's not easy. Once the kids are in bed, I pretty much just want to collapse and most of the time I have work to do, but I'm trying. It requires extra effort at night, but I've got to say that it is so worth it the next day.
One great resource I've stumbled upon in my quest to change my life is cleanmama.net. She has some great printables and ideas to help you change your cleaning routine into something manageable. With 3 kids under the age of 5, I find that just scheduling time to clean is the hardest thing of all. She's great at breaking the process down into daily tasks so you're not tackling the whole house every day. I think that if I can stick with her routine, I can eventually get my house to a place that I'm happy with it.
I'm wondering if anyone else has a daily routine that they follow. If you do, what does yours look like? I'm trying to get some ideas to make things easier on everyone. :-)
That's not me.
Although I wish it was, I'm at a point in my life where I can finally admit that I will never be able to keep up with a household binder. It's basically just one more thing in my already packed to-do list. What works for me is simplicity - a to-do list, maybe some reminders and a grocery list. A regular wall calendar with appointments jotted down does just fine, though I do appreciate the reminder system in my phone too. I just wish it were easier to input appointments.
So this week, in addition to potty training my middle child (I just take the diapers away and let the chips fall where they may, it worked with my oldest and *knock on wood* so far so good with my middle child.), I'm also trying a new daily routine. It's not set in stone yet, but I'm trying to wake up an hour before everyone else so I can take care of me first thing in the morning (coffee, check email, etc.) and then I can tackle the rest of the day. Of course, that means waking up at 6 or 6:30 in the morning, but hey. I'm also working on designating the hour after the kids go to bed to picking up the house, doing dishes from dinner and showering. That's not easy. Once the kids are in bed, I pretty much just want to collapse and most of the time I have work to do, but I'm trying. It requires extra effort at night, but I've got to say that it is so worth it the next day.
One great resource I've stumbled upon in my quest to change my life is cleanmama.net. She has some great printables and ideas to help you change your cleaning routine into something manageable. With 3 kids under the age of 5, I find that just scheduling time to clean is the hardest thing of all. She's great at breaking the process down into daily tasks so you're not tackling the whole house every day. I think that if I can stick with her routine, I can eventually get my house to a place that I'm happy with it.
I'm wondering if anyone else has a daily routine that they follow. If you do, what does yours look like? I'm trying to get some ideas to make things easier on everyone. :-)
Monday, September 22, 2014
Bank Accounts for Kids
Today is my middle child's birthday. To "celebrate" we went and opened bank accounts for her and my older daughter. They both get money for their birthdays and up until now they haven't had accounts. At my daughter's birthday party, her grandfather asked if she had an account, which sparked a whole discussion on banks and what's wrong with them today.
Well, it turns out that I'm not the only one that had a hard time finding a FREE savings account for a kid. Most banks charge monthly maintenance fees for kids if they don't have direct deposit going into the account. I think it's supposed to encourage the parents to put something aside for the kids each month, but really - is that a good idea?? If it were their allowance, then sure, but my kids are young. Allowance isn't really a "thing" yet, and I'd rather treat allowance as a reward for chores rather than a sure thing.
After some searching, I found a local savings bank that has a kids savings account option with no fees and no minimum balance. Here's some of the perks:
Do your kids have bank accounts? Did you have a hard time finding a bank that didn't charge a monthly maintenance fee?
Well, it turns out that I'm not the only one that had a hard time finding a FREE savings account for a kid. Most banks charge monthly maintenance fees for kids if they don't have direct deposit going into the account. I think it's supposed to encourage the parents to put something aside for the kids each month, but really - is that a good idea?? If it were their allowance, then sure, but my kids are young. Allowance isn't really a "thing" yet, and I'd rather treat allowance as a reward for chores rather than a sure thing.
After some searching, I found a local savings bank that has a kids savings account option with no fees and no minimum balance. Here's some of the perks:
- no fees
- no minimum balance
- interest on balances over $10
- a gift with each deposit
- a gift on the child's birthday
Do your kids have bank accounts? Did you have a hard time finding a bank that didn't charge a monthly maintenance fee?
Friday, September 19, 2014
Teeth
I've been absent a lot lately. Things have been hectic at home. With 3 kids and one of them in preschool, there just doesn't seem to be a lot of extra time to do things lately. My youngest is a baby and at the ripe old age of 5 months, he's cutting teeth. Teething is hitting him HARD. Last night he wouldn't sleep and I had to make an emergency run to Walmart at nearly 10pm to pick up every type of teething remedy they had in stock. I got gel, tablets, pacifiers, a weird teething thing that looked like a raspberry and a pacifier had a baby. It was madness.
When you have a teething baby, almost nothing else exists. The dishes don't get done for the night. There's no blogging and my regular work gets pushed to the side too. Since I'm nursing, I AM the comfort at this point in his life and I accept that. I embrace that and I know that when it's over I'll miss it. So for now, blogging takes a back seat and my baby gets me whenever he wants for however long he wants.
By the way - The 2 bottom teeth came through in 3 days and he's working on his third bottom tooth as we speak!
When you have a teething baby, almost nothing else exists. The dishes don't get done for the night. There's no blogging and my regular work gets pushed to the side too. Since I'm nursing, I AM the comfort at this point in his life and I accept that. I embrace that and I know that when it's over I'll miss it. So for now, blogging takes a back seat and my baby gets me whenever he wants for however long he wants.
By the way - The 2 bottom teeth came through in 3 days and he's working on his third bottom tooth as we speak!
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Savings Account
My daughter just turned 3 and her grandfather thought cash would be a good gift idea. He usually thinks cash is a good gift idea. Anyway, it got me thinking - it's about time to open her first savings account. None of my kids have accounts yet because the bank that my husband and I use charges a monthly fee if you don't have direct deposit. Given that my kids are all under the age of 5, none of them have jobs which means they don't have direct deposit. The fees would negate their life savings in less than a year, so they haven't had savings accounts yet.
I did some research on the computer and finally found a bank that doesn't charge fees for kids' savings accounts. They're horrid for adult savings accounts, but kids get off free. ;-) It got me thinking, what types of things should you look for in a kids' savings account? Here's what I came up with:
I did some research on the computer and finally found a bank that doesn't charge fees for kids' savings accounts. They're horrid for adult savings accounts, but kids get off free. ;-) It got me thinking, what types of things should you look for in a kids' savings account? Here's what I came up with:
- FREE - There shouldn't be fees to save your money, ever. This is especially true if you're a kid. Adults can get around it with direct deposit, but what do kids do?
- FUN - The bank we're using gives a gift with every deposit and a small gift on the child's birthday. It makes saving FUN.
- LOCAL - It's important to use a local bank. Kids don't understand banking concepts, and giving someone money then driving an hour away is pretty scary for kids. The closer, the better.
- INTEREST - If you have multiple options, choose a bank with the best interest rates. Kids love rewards and getting money for saving money is the best one there is.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Eggs!
It finally happened - our chickens laid their first egg. I think it was one of the barred rocks. The old girls are somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 or 19 weeks - I no longer have their ages marked on the calendar because I thought they'd be laying before now! Either way, it's very eggciting!
The first egg came up 2 days ago and my husband found it in the coop. It wasn't in the nesting box, but it WAS inside, so bonus! The next day there was nothing and today I found an egg the second time I went out to check, about 2 hours after we had let them out for the day. Sneaky, sneaky! It was in the same spot that the first one was laid, in the coop, but not in a nesting box.
The eggs are smaller than normal "large" eggs from the grocery store - roughly 2/3 the size, a medium brown color with a thicker shell. The yolks are a deep orange color and the texture is much creamier than a store-bought egg. We're saving up the rest of the eggs we get this week for our weekend breakfast. :-)
The first egg came up 2 days ago and my husband found it in the coop. It wasn't in the nesting box, but it WAS inside, so bonus! The next day there was nothing and today I found an egg the second time I went out to check, about 2 hours after we had let them out for the day. Sneaky, sneaky! It was in the same spot that the first one was laid, in the coop, but not in a nesting box.
The eggs are smaller than normal "large" eggs from the grocery store - roughly 2/3 the size, a medium brown color with a thicker shell. The yolks are a deep orange color and the texture is much creamier than a store-bought egg. We're saving up the rest of the eggs we get this week for our weekend breakfast. :-)
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Fall Lawn and Garden Care
Fall is right around the corner and before I know it, the weather will cool down, the leaves will change and I'll start dreaming of cider and apple pie. Unfortunately, lawn care is never on the top of my list of things to-do in the fall and every spring I regret not spending a little more time the year before. This year, I'm determined to change that.
If you're like me, you may not know what you're supposed to do in the fall. I've done the hard work and research for you, so you just need to follow along.
Lawn
1.) Fertilize - It's important to fertilize in the fall. This will help keep your lawn healthy at the last portion of the growing season so it can go dormant over the winter without dying. Experts recommend 2 fertilizer applications - 1 right after labor day and the other around the time you make your last mow. In cold areas, choose a quick-release nitrogen-rich formula. In southern or western climates, choose a control-release formula.
2.) Eliminate broadleaf weeds - Dandelions, plantain and ground ivy are more susceptible to weed killers in the fall. Choose a selective herbicide to take care of the hard work for you so you don't wind up pulling weeds throughout the next year.
3.) Mow the lawn - You'll want to keep up with your normal mowing routine until the lawn stops growing. Use the mulching mode so the grass and leaves can chop more finely and decompose easier. If your mower doesn't have that setting, bag the leaves using the machine's bagger and put them in a compost pile.
4.) Spread some seed - Give your lawn the seeds it needs to get a head start in the spring. If you live in a warm area, fall is the best time to seed new lawn or repair patches in your old lawn. If you live in a colder climate, wait until the soil thaws to put down your seed and let it lie dormant until the spring. You can cover the lawn with straw or mulch to keep the seeds safe from birds.
5.) Dethatch or aerate or both - Both processes can help improve drainage and supply oxygen to your grass. In cool areas, dethatch and aerate if there's another month before the first frost. In Norhtern states, mid-October is already too late.
If you're like me, you may not know what you're supposed to do in the fall. I've done the hard work and research for you, so you just need to follow along.
Lawn
1.) Fertilize - It's important to fertilize in the fall. This will help keep your lawn healthy at the last portion of the growing season so it can go dormant over the winter without dying. Experts recommend 2 fertilizer applications - 1 right after labor day and the other around the time you make your last mow. In cold areas, choose a quick-release nitrogen-rich formula. In southern or western climates, choose a control-release formula.
2.) Eliminate broadleaf weeds - Dandelions, plantain and ground ivy are more susceptible to weed killers in the fall. Choose a selective herbicide to take care of the hard work for you so you don't wind up pulling weeds throughout the next year.
3.) Mow the lawn - You'll want to keep up with your normal mowing routine until the lawn stops growing. Use the mulching mode so the grass and leaves can chop more finely and decompose easier. If your mower doesn't have that setting, bag the leaves using the machine's bagger and put them in a compost pile.
4.) Spread some seed - Give your lawn the seeds it needs to get a head start in the spring. If you live in a warm area, fall is the best time to seed new lawn or repair patches in your old lawn. If you live in a colder climate, wait until the soil thaws to put down your seed and let it lie dormant until the spring. You can cover the lawn with straw or mulch to keep the seeds safe from birds.
5.) Dethatch or aerate or both - Both processes can help improve drainage and supply oxygen to your grass. In cool areas, dethatch and aerate if there's another month before the first frost. In Norhtern states, mid-October is already too late.
6.) Test the soil - A soil test can tell you a lot of things about the condition of your lawn. It can tell you the current pH and what nutrients are lacking.
7.) Water it - If you haven't had a whole lot of rain, feel free to water your lawn. The summer droughts should be over, so give it a good watering to help strengthen roots before the cold winter weather beats down on it.
Trees and Shrubs
If you live in a cold region, you can plant trees, shrubs and vines through the end of October. This gives the plants time to grow roots in the still-warm soil before the temperatures drop. If you live in an area with a mild winter, the planting season extends a little farther. Soak the root ball before planting for the best results.
You should also wrap the young trees with mesh hardware to prevent mice and rodents from feasting on the tender bark when the pickings get slim. Leave about an inch between the mesh and the trunk and make sure you bury the mesh at least 3 inches into the soil. Remove it in the spring.
If you have boxwood, holly or rhododendrons, you should cover the plants with burlap or old sheets to protect the leaves. Use stakes and burlap material to make sure it doesn't weigh down the branches of the plant and secure the dressings with staples. The material will shade the bushes from wind and harsh winter sun to prevent the plant from losing too much moisture.
You can also water trees and shrubs around your yard if the rain has been light to help them develop roots before the winter sets in.
Some types of trees and shrubs should be pruned. If you have one of these, you can prune lightly in the fall to remove broken or damaged limbs or to provide shaping. Summer isn't the only time you can prune, so if it's September or early October, don't be afraid to give your plants a hair cut.
Flowers and Gardens
1.) Plant bulbs - Fall is the season to plant springtime bulbs in most of the country. Aim to have them in the ground by late October. Put them in the ground 5 to 8 inches deep and follow the directions on the package.
2.) Plant garlic - Look at your local nursery to get garlic bulbs. Plant them outdoors in good soil 1 to 2 inches deep and 4 inches apart. The bulbs need to winter over before sprouting a green stalk in the spring and eventually creating a new garlic bulb in the late summer.
3.) Plant annuals - If you have a wild winter, you can get a crop of cabbage, kale, pansies, primroses or violas. These flowers will be the last of the season, but the cold-weather crops are always a treat.
4.) Protect roses - Most roses can't stand temperatures below 10 degrees, so you should mound soil over the plants central crown or bud. Wrap it with a wire or mesh cylinder to protect the stem and fill it with a light mulch like composted bark.
5.) Mulch - You can spread compost, composted cedar, pine, fir bark or weed-free straw in the fall to get your garden ready for the spring. After the winter, just till it in and you'll be all set to plant new crops.
6.) Divide your perennials - You can fill in empty spaces throughout your yard with perennials in the fall. If you have any plants that are overcrowded, divide and conquer the mess roughly a month before the frost sets in. To divide, lit the entire root mass then use a fork or small shovel to separate a clump. Cut back the leaves to 2 ro 3 inches and replant.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Preschool
I'm officially the mother of a preschooler. I don't know when it happened, but at some point my oldest grew up and turned into a young lady. She's one of the oldest kids in her class, and despite all of my fears, she's doing great in school.
She follows directions, plays nicely with the other kids and can't wait to give me a run-down of everything they did in the 2 1/2 hours she was away from home each day. I really can't complain - she loves school and I love having 2 kids instead of 3 for a couple hours. I'm sure that makes me a bad person, a bad mother in particular, but I think her new preschool adventure is good for all of us.
On a side note - when did preschool get so expensive? Considering I have to take her in, pick her up and supply a snack and drink for the entire class every 5 weeks, I'd think the cost would be a little less!
She follows directions, plays nicely with the other kids and can't wait to give me a run-down of everything they did in the 2 1/2 hours she was away from home each day. I really can't complain - she loves school and I love having 2 kids instead of 3 for a couple hours. I'm sure that makes me a bad person, a bad mother in particular, but I think her new preschool adventure is good for all of us.
On a side note - when did preschool get so expensive? Considering I have to take her in, pick her up and supply a snack and drink for the entire class every 5 weeks, I'd think the cost would be a little less!
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Breastfeeding After Abscess
Before I had my 3rd baby, I was looking all over the internet for information on breastfeeding after an abscess. I didn't find anything at all. I even asked the doctor and she didn't have any cases of mothers choosing to breastfeed after an abscess, so she didn't have any information for me. I felt very alone and I wasn't sure what to do.
I wound up going ahead and trying it, figuring that if I got multiple clots, I'd quite before it could progress to the point it had. I spoke with my doctor and we had a plan in place to start antibiotics at the first sign of a clot that wouldn't disappear since I had no symptoms of mastitis the last time around.
I'm happy to report that we're now 4.5 months into it and I haven't had a single clot yet. In the beginning when I was overproducing, I simply used the pump (a Madela) to empty both breasts completely to prevent any clots. Around 3 months I was able to stop doing that, by slowly decreasing the pumping to once every other day, then every 3 days, etc.
I think it helps that my son has a strong suck, so nothing gets left behind. We co-sleep and he nurses throughout the night, so in the morning I'm never engorged. I think that's the key - frequent nursing with a strong suction and not letting them get engorged. At 4.5 months, my supply has leveled out and I'm not overproducing any more.
So, if you've suffered an abscess, there's light at the end of the tunnel. You can breastfeed another baby without any problems. :-)
I wound up going ahead and trying it, figuring that if I got multiple clots, I'd quite before it could progress to the point it had. I spoke with my doctor and we had a plan in place to start antibiotics at the first sign of a clot that wouldn't disappear since I had no symptoms of mastitis the last time around.
I'm happy to report that we're now 4.5 months into it and I haven't had a single clot yet. In the beginning when I was overproducing, I simply used the pump (a Madela) to empty both breasts completely to prevent any clots. Around 3 months I was able to stop doing that, by slowly decreasing the pumping to once every other day, then every 3 days, etc.
I think it helps that my son has a strong suck, so nothing gets left behind. We co-sleep and he nurses throughout the night, so in the morning I'm never engorged. I think that's the key - frequent nursing with a strong suction and not letting them get engorged. At 4.5 months, my supply has leveled out and I'm not overproducing any more.
So, if you've suffered an abscess, there's light at the end of the tunnel. You can breastfeed another baby without any problems. :-)
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Depression
I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I suffer from depression. After my youngest child was born it was bad again and I was put on anti-depressants shortly after his birth.
Some days are ok, and other days (weeks) are not so ok. This is one of those times.
I'm not one of those people that feel like they're going to hurt themselves or their kids or anything crazy like that. I'm one of those people that fantasize about running away. I feel like a trapped bird anxious to get out and be free.
What brought on this latest round of depression? It started about a week and a half ago. My cat got out and we haven't seen him since. I know he's dead. If he weren't, he'd come back. I left food and water out, and the dishes were being emptied every night until last night when I set up the baby's monitor to see what was going on. Whatever was eating the food decided to stay away from the monitor and they didn't touch any of the food. Obviously, it's not my cat. He's used to seeing that thing, so there's no way it would scare him.
On top of that, we are in the process of re-financing our house to consolidate the debt racked up during the building of the addition. We needed the addition to house our growing family, but unfortunately, it cost a lot of money. Now that we can finally refinance to pay off the building debt, we're looking at being in a situation where we can't leave, even if we want to. The house is worth more than it'll be financed for, but after realtor fees we won't have enough left over to put 20% down on another house. So, we either need to pay down the mortgage A LOT in a short period of time (won't happen) or sock away some savings now that we'll have some cash freed up (hopefully) from rolling building debts into the new mortgage. Either way, it'll be years before we can move out of this state and into (hopefully) a larger house.
That doesn't sound too bad, but in just 2 years my parents will no longer be in the area. We'll need to use a plane to visit them, which is expensive, so we won't see them often. Right now they are 2.5 hours away, so we see them once a month, sometimes twice. My sister lives on the other side of the country now and my brother lives with my parents, so he will be moving with them. I have 1 grandparent that's still living and he's on the other side of the country too. That means I won't have any family left in the area, save for a random uncle and a couple of cousins that I don't really know. I feel like I'm being abandoned.
On top of that, I wanted to move out of here before my middle child started school. Her birthday is just 16 days after the cut-off to start school, which means she will likely be the oldest kid in her class. She's big already and seems older because of her verbal skills, so I'm afraid she'll be bored in school by waiting another year and she'll become a bully. Unfortunately, that's how it'll play out now.
The town itself is also going to poo. We are being charged an extra $75 each quarter for "capital improvements" related to the water system. They want to charge $186 per year beginning next year for each of the kids to ride the school bus. The sewer charges are through the roof. We pay $300-$400 per quarter for water and sewer. That's a huge increase. If we want to be able to afford to live here, we'll have to consider spending tens of thousands of dollars on a septic system and well. So basically we can't afford to live here and we can't afford to leave either.
It's a terrible situation. I know my husband isn't bothered because his family lives about an hour away. The odd situation with his family is another post all on its own, but suffice to say, having them near is no consolation.
I've been trying to figure out ways to cheer myself up, and I just keep coming up blank. I need to get out of the house, but with 3 young kids - one that's in her terrible 2's - that's just an exercise in futility.
Some days are ok, and other days (weeks) are not so ok. This is one of those times.
I'm not one of those people that feel like they're going to hurt themselves or their kids or anything crazy like that. I'm one of those people that fantasize about running away. I feel like a trapped bird anxious to get out and be free.
What brought on this latest round of depression? It started about a week and a half ago. My cat got out and we haven't seen him since. I know he's dead. If he weren't, he'd come back. I left food and water out, and the dishes were being emptied every night until last night when I set up the baby's monitor to see what was going on. Whatever was eating the food decided to stay away from the monitor and they didn't touch any of the food. Obviously, it's not my cat. He's used to seeing that thing, so there's no way it would scare him.
On top of that, we are in the process of re-financing our house to consolidate the debt racked up during the building of the addition. We needed the addition to house our growing family, but unfortunately, it cost a lot of money. Now that we can finally refinance to pay off the building debt, we're looking at being in a situation where we can't leave, even if we want to. The house is worth more than it'll be financed for, but after realtor fees we won't have enough left over to put 20% down on another house. So, we either need to pay down the mortgage A LOT in a short period of time (won't happen) or sock away some savings now that we'll have some cash freed up (hopefully) from rolling building debts into the new mortgage. Either way, it'll be years before we can move out of this state and into (hopefully) a larger house.
That doesn't sound too bad, but in just 2 years my parents will no longer be in the area. We'll need to use a plane to visit them, which is expensive, so we won't see them often. Right now they are 2.5 hours away, so we see them once a month, sometimes twice. My sister lives on the other side of the country now and my brother lives with my parents, so he will be moving with them. I have 1 grandparent that's still living and he's on the other side of the country too. That means I won't have any family left in the area, save for a random uncle and a couple of cousins that I don't really know. I feel like I'm being abandoned.
On top of that, I wanted to move out of here before my middle child started school. Her birthday is just 16 days after the cut-off to start school, which means she will likely be the oldest kid in her class. She's big already and seems older because of her verbal skills, so I'm afraid she'll be bored in school by waiting another year and she'll become a bully. Unfortunately, that's how it'll play out now.
The town itself is also going to poo. We are being charged an extra $75 each quarter for "capital improvements" related to the water system. They want to charge $186 per year beginning next year for each of the kids to ride the school bus. The sewer charges are through the roof. We pay $300-$400 per quarter for water and sewer. That's a huge increase. If we want to be able to afford to live here, we'll have to consider spending tens of thousands of dollars on a septic system and well. So basically we can't afford to live here and we can't afford to leave either.
It's a terrible situation. I know my husband isn't bothered because his family lives about an hour away. The odd situation with his family is another post all on its own, but suffice to say, having them near is no consolation.
I've been trying to figure out ways to cheer myself up, and I just keep coming up blank. I need to get out of the house, but with 3 young kids - one that's in her terrible 2's - that's just an exercise in futility.
Friday, August 8, 2014
Market Basket
I haven't been posting lately because all of my "free time" has been spent navigating new grocery stores. I've been the one with the 3 kids wandering for 10 minutes looking for cake mix only to find said cake mix and not get it because it's 4 times more expensive than at my regular store.
You see, I'm a displaced Market Basket shopper.
I drive by, I honk and I long to return to my red and white checked haven where I know I can get groceries at a decent price. Sure, in recent months I'd turned to the big boys of Shaws and Big Y for meat sales to feed my family. Market Basket's meat sales just weren't matching our tastes, so I had to go elsewhere. However, I returned to my local store for deli, dairy, produce and grocery items.
That all stopped when the workers started holding up signs and picketing. I'm not one of those people that can cross a picket line without feeling bad and besides that, I agree with them. Their jobs, their salaries and their pensions are being threatened. If ASD once tried to claim that he wouldn't change anything for the worse, he can't say the same thing now. His actions over the past few weeks have shown that he's all about money. I know he'd raise prices and cut salaries because he's in it for one person and one person alone - himself. He doesn't care about customers. He doesn't care about employees. If he did, he'd have ended the work stoppage weeks ago by giving everyone what they wanted - his cousin.
So while I hope that there will be a resolution sooner rather than later, I'm not holding my breath. I know ASD's greed and jealousy has the power to bring down Market Basket. I hope that there's a positive resolution, but at the same time I'm trying to get used to shopping at other stores and I'm trying to make their higher prices fit into my budget.
You see, I'm a displaced Market Basket shopper.
I drive by, I honk and I long to return to my red and white checked haven where I know I can get groceries at a decent price. Sure, in recent months I'd turned to the big boys of Shaws and Big Y for meat sales to feed my family. Market Basket's meat sales just weren't matching our tastes, so I had to go elsewhere. However, I returned to my local store for deli, dairy, produce and grocery items.
That all stopped when the workers started holding up signs and picketing. I'm not one of those people that can cross a picket line without feeling bad and besides that, I agree with them. Their jobs, their salaries and their pensions are being threatened. If ASD once tried to claim that he wouldn't change anything for the worse, he can't say the same thing now. His actions over the past few weeks have shown that he's all about money. I know he'd raise prices and cut salaries because he's in it for one person and one person alone - himself. He doesn't care about customers. He doesn't care about employees. If he did, he'd have ended the work stoppage weeks ago by giving everyone what they wanted - his cousin.
So while I hope that there will be a resolution sooner rather than later, I'm not holding my breath. I know ASD's greed and jealousy has the power to bring down Market Basket. I hope that there's a positive resolution, but at the same time I'm trying to get used to shopping at other stores and I'm trying to make their higher prices fit into my budget.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Organization Goals
Anyone that reads this blog on a semi-regular basis knows that I'm unhappy with how organized and clean my house is. With that in mind, I thought hey... why not challenge myself YET AGAIN to get organized in a week. A week should be plenty of time, right? Ha. We'll see.
In an effort to get things going, I'll post my "timeline" here so maybe I'll feel some sort of accountability to the internet or something crazy like that.
Monday: Organize & clean the kitchen & mudroom. Focus on cabinets. Clean out the fridge.
Tuesday: Organize & clean the dining room. Focus on the hutch. Clean out/organize the pantry.
Wednesday: Organize & clean my bedroom & the master bath.
Thursday: Organize & clean the kids' rooms. Remove at least 1 bag of toys. Fix the bookshelf.
Friday: Organize & Clean the living room & hall bath. Wipe down the fireplace and clean under the couches. Clean the living room closet out.
I'm sure that I'm being way too ambitious with all of this, but on the off chance that it's not as much as it seems like, I'd also like to clean the windows. They rarely get cleaned because our blinds are large and don't lift-up anymore (broke under their own weight).
Wish me luck, and if you don't hear back from my by next week - send an ambulance!
In an effort to get things going, I'll post my "timeline" here so maybe I'll feel some sort of accountability to the internet or something crazy like that.
Monday: Organize & clean the kitchen & mudroom. Focus on cabinets. Clean out the fridge.
Tuesday: Organize & clean the dining room. Focus on the hutch. Clean out/organize the pantry.
Wednesday: Organize & clean my bedroom & the master bath.
Thursday: Organize & clean the kids' rooms. Remove at least 1 bag of toys. Fix the bookshelf.
Friday: Organize & Clean the living room & hall bath. Wipe down the fireplace and clean under the couches. Clean the living room closet out.
I'm sure that I'm being way too ambitious with all of this, but on the off chance that it's not as much as it seems like, I'd also like to clean the windows. They rarely get cleaned because our blinds are large and don't lift-up anymore (broke under their own weight).
Wish me luck, and if you don't hear back from my by next week - send an ambulance!
Friday, July 25, 2014
DIY - Hypericum Oil
I'd like to share a quick DIY for making your own Hypericum oil. If you're not familiar with it, hypericum (St. John's Wart) is a plant that grows in the wild and is used a lot in homeopathic medicine. Although there are many many different uses for it, my in-laws and husband have been using it for years as sort of a homeopathic neosporin.
Hypericum oil has antibiotic properties and because it's made with olive oil, it's incredibly moisturizing and soothing as well. Making it is super easy and requires only a couple of ingredients and less than 15 minutes of your time.
First, you need to pick the flowers. You probably have them growing in your yard during the late spring or early summer. They look like this:
Cram those yellow beauties in your blender and press down to compact them. Add enough olive oil to cover them about half way, put the lid on and hit puree.
When it's all chopped and blended, it will look like this:
You'll want to secure the blender base a little better than I did.
Next, pour it into a jar with a lid and seal it tightly. I used a mason jar.
Put it outside in the garden, under a plant or wherever else it can sit undisturbed for a while. you'll want to let it steep in the sunlight for about 6 weeks. When that time has passed, pour the mixture through a fine mesh strainer to remove all the bits of the flower and you're good to go. You can use the oil on burns, scrapes, cuts or anything else that you would normally put neosporin on. It's also safe for use on pets since it's all natural.
Hypericum oil has antibiotic properties and because it's made with olive oil, it's incredibly moisturizing and soothing as well. Making it is super easy and requires only a couple of ingredients and less than 15 minutes of your time.
First, you need to pick the flowers. You probably have them growing in your yard during the late spring or early summer. They look like this:
Cram those yellow beauties in your blender and press down to compact them. Add enough olive oil to cover them about half way, put the lid on and hit puree.
When it's all chopped and blended, it will look like this:
Next, pour it into a jar with a lid and seal it tightly. I used a mason jar.
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